Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML
Today, my dad is having his midlife crisis, bought a Mercedes, along with having a girlfriend less than half his age. I was trying to be supportive, until I found out he is funding his midlife crisis with my university loan. FML
Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding." This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML
Today, I was driving my dad, who recently turned 50, to the store and had to listen to him go on and on that he’s having to accept that, as my siblings and I get older and are more independent, he’s having to transition from "sex god to just a dad." I don't know either. FML
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
loganHchrist 9
Parents are meant to be parents, not friends.
CerSpence 11
You sound super lucky.... BAZINGA!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
doctorwho7980 5
Hey at least ur dad doesn't say dope and all the other
driinkbleach 18
In a way its sweet he is just trying to connect with you. But I would not be enjoying that too much either. You can have plenty of friends but you only get one or two parents and thats what they should be;you need a dad not another friend. Plus anyone who says "swag" or "yolo" should be shot lol :)
myheartisinNE 3
Politely tell your dad that you are happy that he wants to spend time when you, but also establish some boundaries. Also let him know that the kind of slang he is using is embarrassing to you and doesn't help.
perdix 31
Give the guy a break! It, like, totz happens to a lot of us hashtag-"old guys." My "Bazinga" t-shirt was much cheaper than the Ferrari I was jonesing for, right? YOLO has a whole different meaning when the end is in sight.
davidwayne24 3
Sometimes realizing that your dad is going through this and going to should be a compliment. Hang on to that love all the time you get with him
EmmaMK 35
It's probably just a phase and he will grow out of it. Seriously, try and enjoy spending time with him, you're very lucky.
WeiXinLun 16
At least He cares, right?
Harrison38 5
he is trying ti be better and het closer ro his son quit be such a bitch about it bro forreal
mustang19898 16
Better than my friend's dad who gripes at everyone, complains about everything, and doesn't want to have fun
AngryD 9
take it easy your dad. yes he probably being annoying and yes you wish he would stop but when you get a little older you will figure out he is just trying to find a way to spend more time with you anyway he can