Today, my dad had a day off and was 'bored' so he decided to move our entire kitchen into our living room. We now have no running water, no oven that works and the entire house is a bombsite. He has an entire week off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML
Today, after moving into my new house, my partner's father came to give us his old sofa. Now, an hour before he has to leave, he's half-completed 3 DIY jobs we didn't want done in the first place, and smashed my water inlet pipe. I have no water and a destroyed kitchen. FML
Today, we finished redecorating my kitchen. My dad has been his usual OCD self about getting it perfect, so when he noticed a shelf was just barely not level, he decided to adjust the screws. It fell off and damaged my floor, so he threw the screwdriver and cracked a wall tile. Thanks dad. FML
Today, our boiler broke. Yesterday, it was our fridge. The day before that, the deck collapsed, and a few weeks ago the dishwasher flooded the kitchen. This is after we spent a ton of money to have the house gutted due to a mold problem. We only bought the house a year ago, and have lived in it even less. We need to move. FML
Today, after house sitting for my future father-in-law and managing to keep things spotless for 3 weeks, a pipe burst. It flooded the place and shorted out a plug socket, causing a fire that ruined the front room. He gets home in 3 hours. I'm screwed. FML
Today, I went to visit my father. His new wife has hoarded out our childhood home nearly to the point of it being unliveable. That’s pretty funny, considering my dad used to literally beat us if our rooms weren’t clean or we left dishes in the sink. FML
Today, the toilet on the top floor of my house burst, soaked the bathroom, and water dripped down into the kitchen and the basement for hours when nobody was home. Eight blowers and a dehumidifier later, the house is about 90 degrees and I can't leave. FML
Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Move his shit into the front yard. If he starts complaining? You were "bored"
every1luvsboners 11
He just wants the stuff closer to him so he doesn't have to get his arse up off the couch. No need to worry until he cuts a hole in the floor and starts ******** in it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (66)
barbie_9941 13
this is stupid, why is it on FML??
gabbykinz13 9
Ahhh Lawd!
GlitterAngel 8
He had an entire week to bring the whole house down.. Duck & cover.
dukeunidude 4
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
dick_head 4
Rap is for fags. I know I'll get thumbs down from a bunch of fucktards, but I just have to say this.
nvo 6
Enough to deep clean and paint the actual kitchen, and move all appliances back into their original place. Put all his exuberant, idle energy to good use!
TheLefty 1
At least it was clever..
moninbg 8
Beware: the bathroom is coming to your bedroom tomorrow.
lalamike25 0
Well he's either got the whole week to fix it or to arrange your whole house into hell. Just be patient
sourn 2
Seems like he's getting ready to do something like paint/new flooring. You don't just move an entire kitchen because you're bored that's some serious effort there. But no running water really? You should still have water every where else in the house. Shut off valves.. If he really did that just to do it, then ya fyl because the next few days are gonna be hell.
bizarre_ftw 22
Lock your bedroom doors, NOW