Today, my dad found out I got a tattoo behind his back and is really really upset. When I got home from work my car wasn't in the driveway. When I asked my dad where it was, he replied "you'll get it back when your tattoo comes off." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I came to terms with the fact that my dad will die without knowing I have tattoos on my body. I'm afraid my dad will suffer a deadly heart attack due to the revelation, as he had two heart failures in the past. My dad is still the sort of person who thinks that people with tattoos are criminals. FML
Today, my mom found out that I got a tattoo two years ago. She got mad and spanked me. I'm 33 years-old. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
Today, I was getting my first tattoo done. My parents told me it was a bad idea. My friends' parents told me it was a bad idea. I told them that people get tattoos done all the time and nothing goes wrong. Fifty minutes into the tattoo on my back, the artist said, "Oh shit, shit, shit. We can fix this." FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. I felt good about it, until I told my mom, who was not happy. She responded by taking me out of her car insurance policy, family plan, and charging me for rent every month since I, "wanna be all grown up now.” FML
Today, is the day I got my first tattoo. It's also the day where my mom screamed at me, gave me the silent treatment, and kicked me out of the house. Apparently I’m not considered her daughter anymore, because my skin is “damaged” now. I don’t have other family anywhere, and I have nowhere to go. FML
Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML
Today, my dad came out of jail. He showed me his tattoo of a Bible on his chest with all his 13 kids' names on it. I'm the only one whose name is spelled wrong. FML
Today, I got a tattoo. My mom got upset and threw a bitch fit about how my body "is a temple and it belongs to God.” I told her, “My body, my choice.” She responded with, “Oh really? Well, my house, my choice who lives here. Pack your shit and get the fuck out.” I’m currently in my car with nowhere to go. FML
Today, I heard from my little nephews that in school, the father of one of their peers has his arms all covered in tattoos. Their grandpa told my nephews to stay away from people with tattoos, as they were likely criminals and wanting to kidnap children. He doesn't know I have a tattoo in my back. FML
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Top comments
Aeolian 0
When you willfully break the rules, don't come crying to FML when you see the consequences.
gigi2009 0
report the car as stolen. it's your body. unless it's not actually owned by you. then suck up & buy your own
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Comments (242)
Guitarist45 0
wow, your dad sounds real mature. what a dick move, but still, you should've told him about it
13__Loki__13 1
How to get your car back easy... Tell him that you will buy your own, earning money the old fashioned way... on your back! You'll have the keys back before you know it and if not enjoy the new car and career! Oh yeah, enjoy the tatoo too
secretsecret_fml 0
If you were at work... why was your car at home?
corme_fml 0
Hmmm, feets were made for walkin?
Officeman47 0
I think that you should have thought twice and NOT have gotten a tattoo at your age cause your obviously like 16/17 either way, idiot.
FalsePretense 0
#82 Go ahead and kill someone. We'll see if that statement gets you out of jail.
shoieb9 14
nice dad :)
f_your_life_09 0
68 thank u!!! I thought I was the only one!! u took the words right out of my mouth!!
cuppycake555 0
ohh wow that suck , but that wat happen when u don't ask him first ;)
teacher411 0
What? How old are you? Don't you use your car to get to work?
YazBK 0
Start getting used to taking the bus now....