Intimacy: Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break....

By Une Fille - 18/12/2011 05:18 - Canada

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 303

You deserved it 44 347

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Same thing different taste

Code of silence

By nean83 - 12/01/2013 05:11 - United States - Inglewood

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 527

You deserved it 39 931

They see me rolling…

By CharlieP - 08/05/2023 22:00

Today, I’m walking around the streets with my stuff in a rolling suitcase. My mom saw fit to kick me out of the house because she found sextoys in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 247

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 939

You deserved it 58 669

You really shouldn't have

By BB_Skylar - 11/10/2025 20:00

Today, I found that my (well-meaning and very kind) Dad cleaned up under my bed after a little mold problem. The problem? He cleaned up a few empty THC gummy containers and saw my dildo. And I thought living at home at uni was a good idea… FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 362

Thanks, Dad!

By Sam - 28/11/2008 08:50 - France

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 598

You deserved it 11 329

Sharing is caring

By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 234

You deserved it 596

By Lois - 09/02/2013 12:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 788

You deserved it 5 963

By vibratorgirl - 08/03/2009 01:15 - United States

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 116

You deserved it 73 946

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 10:45 - Russian Federation

Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 487

You deserved it 9 328

By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 603

You deserved it 3 405

perdix 29

Sunday 18 December 2011 12:45

Algebra fail! The problem is stated as an inequality. (Number of sex toys) > 1 x age Therefore, the OP must be 18 or younger.

ollie179 21

Sunday 18 December 2011 12:38

Well at least you weren't using them.

Comments

brick_man33 14

Wednesday 21 December 2011 1:15

you should of told him,they are your limited edition mini-light sabers.

picturescrazy 24

Thursday 22 December 2011 6:46

I'm trying to picture someone using 19 different sex toys on one occasion xD Unless you don't wash them after each use... then that's just nasty! Unless of course you're talking about handcuffs and other toys that don't necessarily need to be cleaned after each wash (:

mikemotox105 4

Thursday 22 December 2011 6:58

Yup thts wat i say

mikemotox105 4

Thursday 22 December 2011 6:55

Damn y so many u can use my dick

hamsmum 2

Thursday 22 December 2011 19:00

Geeze, there is only so many orrifices one can insert things into at a time

granolabutt8 7

Friday 23 December 2011 4:00

Myeh, shit happens. At least he didn't walk in on you banging 19 dudes. I say kudos for being sexually aware without being a **** and also for practicing hygiene with your toys. Good luck to you, hope it wasn't too awkward! ;)