Health: Today, my coworker told me that I needed to quit smoking because... - FML

By Mattrd - 05/02/2013 00:42 - United States

Today, my coworker told me that I needed to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 681

You deserved it 3 928

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Same thing different taste

Teeth gang!

By pridekills - 19/08/2012 04:19 - United States - Mulberry

Today, my coworker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 185

You deserved it 9 018

It's not what you think

By youmindyourownbusiness - 15/02/2013 05:53 - United States - Genoa

Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 530

You deserved it 4 176

By Anonymous - 11/04/2012 03:49 - United States - Moreland

Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 679

You deserved it 2 068

By Username - 03/08/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 810

You deserved it 51 974

Bad Luck Brian

By Hayley - 24/02/2018 19:00

Today, my doctor told me that my lungs are as bad as a 60-year-old heavy smoker's. I'm 19 and I've never touched a cigarette in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 082

You deserved it 234

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 00:01

Today, I saw my boss, so I mentioned to him, "Oh, I quit." He then interrupted, saying, "Great, I was going to fire you this week anyway." I wanted to tell him I quit smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 249

You deserved it 294

Worst teeth in the game

By Anonymous - 23/09/2021 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the dentist and she told me, "If you don't stop smoking, yellow teeth aren't the only thing you'll have to worry about." I don't even smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 117

Reefer madness

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 12:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I told the coworker who sits next to me that I don't smoke weed anymore, after she brought a spliff to work. I then got called into the directors' boardroom to receive a warning for smelling like marijuana at work. I was only allowed one more warning before they were due to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 156

By imobesejk - 17/07/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 187

You deserved it 2 816

By smellynelly - 17/05/2015 16:13 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 857

You deserved it 11 399

Next

Top comments

Selphis 20

Tuesday 5 February 2013 9:13

Damn that's harsh...

STACEKING 4

Tuesday 5 February 2013 9:22

Second hand?

Comments

dmoran20 27

Tuesday 5 February 2013 9:57

Tell them no quit masturbating before they go completely blind.

dmoran20 27

Tuesday 5 February 2013 10:01

*to

lishajoy777 14

Tuesday 5 February 2013 11:06

At least it wasnt a whole bunch of people saying it..

misspennycakes 7

Tuesday 5 February 2013 11:08

Hahahah this is going into my favourites

Connect 10

Tuesday 5 February 2013 11:14

Time to take a shower OP.

DoubleBlumpkin 4

Tuesday 5 February 2013 11:44

Do you also have yellow teeth? You need to brush those a few times a day. Or you go the other way and start smoking like crazy so your co worker doesn't think you just stink for no reason.

jarrettd 27

Tuesday 5 February 2013 12:41

Good doc

dontpanic_fml 32

Tuesday 5 February 2013 13:01

While the OP may need to work on personal hygiene, there was no reason for the coworker to be so rude about it. And assuming the reason just makes him or her look stupid.

perdix 29

Tuesday 5 February 2013 14:30

Maybe you need to start. If you naturally suffer the bad consequences of smoking, you might as well get the pleasure from it. Plus, you look like a bad-ass when you smoke, instead of just smelling like a bad ass.

MinorDisturbance 4

Tuesday 5 February 2013 14:35

Well, that was rather... blunt.

geminitactix 1

Tuesday 5 February 2013 19:24

I see what happened there. I officially denounce your down votes.

MinorDisturbance 4

Wednesday 6 February 2013 22:17

Why thank you, kind sir.

shrdlu 28

Tuesday 5 February 2013 15:00

Seriously, if you hang out with smokers or in smoke-filled places, you'll start to smell like one and won't realize it. I didn't believe this until after I'd stopped smoking for a while.

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The Top

Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 136

You deserved it 72 915

Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 84

The Top

Today, I received an email from my professor informing me that if I missed another class, I'd be dropped from the course. I have field experience to complete tomorrow as part of my major. I emailed her two weeks ago to let her know, and we're excused by the dean. She doesn't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 076

You deserved it 7 931

Today, I was in an elevator with my family and a family I didn't know. I was about to press the number when somebody came up behind me. I thought it was my brother trying to press the number first, so I aggressivly pushed him out of the way. Turns out it was the other family's ten year old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 964

You deserved it 61 294

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. I started to tear up and told her I had something stuck in my eye. I was secretly thrilled as I had been trying to end it for weeks. Seeing me cry, she immediately took it back. I really just had something stuck in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 909

You deserved it 2 235

Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 824

You deserved it 9 926

Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 605

You deserved it 1 905

Today, my girlfriend made me shave my chest. Afterwards, she said I looked like I was 12. She won't have sex with me until it grows back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 389

You deserved it 5 141