Today, my coworker told me that I needed to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my coworker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML
Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML
Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML
Today, my doctor told me that my lungs are as bad as a 60-year-old heavy smoker's. I'm 19 and I've never touched a cigarette in my life. FML
Today, I saw my boss, so I mentioned to him, "Oh, I quit." He then interrupted, saying, "Great, I was going to fire you this week anyway." I wanted to tell him I quit smoking. FML
Today, I went to the dentist and she told me, "If you don't stop smoking, yellow teeth aren't the only thing you'll have to worry about." I don't even smoke. FML
Today, I told the coworker who sits next to me that I don't smoke weed anymore, after she brought a spliff to work. I then got called into the directors' boardroom to receive a warning for smelling like marijuana at work. I was only allowed one more warning before they were due to fire me. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML
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Top comments
Selphis 20
Damn that's harsh...
STACEKING 4
Second hand?
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Comments (49)
dmoran20 27
Tell them no quit masturbating before they go completely blind.
dmoran20 27
*to
lishajoy777 14
At least it wasnt a whole bunch of people saying it..
misspennycakes 7
Hahahah this is going into my favourites
Connect 10
Time to take a shower OP.
DoubleBlumpkin 4
Do you also have yellow teeth? You need to brush those a few times a day. Or you go the other way and start smoking like crazy so your co worker doesn't think you just stink for no reason.
jarrettd 27
Good doc
dontpanic_fml 32
While the OP may need to work on personal hygiene, there was no reason for the coworker to be so rude about it. And assuming the reason just makes him or her look stupid.
perdix 31
Maybe you need to start. If you naturally suffer the bad consequences of smoking, you might as well get the pleasure from it. Plus, you look like a bad-ass when you smoke, instead of just smelling like a bad ass.
MinorDisturbance 4
Well, that was rather... blunt.
geminitactix 1
I see what happened there. I officially denounce your down votes.
MinorDisturbance 4
Why thank you, kind sir.
shrdlu 28
Seriously, if you hang out with smokers or in smoke-filled places, you'll start to smell like one and won't realize it. I didn't believe this until after I'd stopped smoking for a while.