Animals: Today, my cat cracked my phone screen by sneezing on it. FML

By CatofSteel - 05/03/2017 22:00

Today, my cat cracked my phone screen by sneezing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 900

You deserved it 575

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ciotter - 08/01/2011 08:57 - United States

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 596

You deserved it 5 396

Phones are bad for you

By Katie - 14/05/2024 13:00 - United States - Basehor

Today, I was laying in bed, scrolling through my phone, when my cat swatted my phone out of my hand. It hit me in the face and popped a pimple, which is now bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 174

Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure

By MistofAvalon - 24/04/2020 14:00

Today, my cat woke me up announcing he was hungry by standing on my bedside table. This placed him both next to and above my head. Did he do this by meowing? Nope. Did he do it by tapping me with his little paw? Not that either. He sneezed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 393

You deserved it 308

Metal Cat

By Anonymous - 08/02/2021 05:01

Today, my cat jumped on my chest while I was sleeping and head-butted my nose to show she loves me. It was hard enough to crack it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 117

No typing! Only petting!

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 15:00

Today, my cat decided to use my keyboard as a scratching post, and now my computer won't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 211

No napping, only feeding

By Not Helping - 06/07/2022 02:59 - United States - Steele

Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 209

Butterfingers

By Anonymous - 24/01/2023 13:00 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, I dropped a bottle when moving my cat supplies. and just my luck it fell onto my iPhone and broke the screen. I don’t have enough money to replace it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 223

By Anonymous - 16/05/2016 00:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 009

You deserved it 3 650

Last splash

By alexarbusto - 06/05/2020 02:00

Today, my phone fell in my cat's water bowl overnight. I'm currently writing this from my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 394

By catlover - 20/05/2009 09:07 - Australia

Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 519

You deserved it 52 526

RusticChick 27

Sunday 5 March 2017 22:06

I am extremely curious how this happened.

ScratchCatPower 32

Sunday 5 March 2017 22:22

I'm guessing the cat sneezed and slammed its head against the phone screen by mistake? Poor cat.

Comments

RusticChick 27

Sunday 5 March 2017 22:06

I am extremely curious how this happened.

griffind0rk 10

Sunday 5 March 2017 22:27

Careful, it might kill you.

evilplatypus 38

Sunday 5 March 2017 23:33

Yeah, I'm gonna need some follow up from OP on this one...

popularblock66 4

Monday 6 March 2017 22:37

I phones break easily so I'm guessing the cat sneezed on one

Solano2580 24

Sunday 5 March 2017 22:09

That's what happens when you buy an Iphone.

LyricaSilvan 29

Sunday 5 March 2017 23:09

The iPhone jokes are beyond old by now.

ScratchCatPower 32

Sunday 5 March 2017 22:22

I'm guessing the cat sneezed and slammed its head against the phone screen by mistake? Poor cat.

Dark_Cecilia 20

Sunday 5 March 2017 22:41

Thundercat?

Jhk9000 23

Sunday 5 March 2017 22:48

I'm guessing that's a poor quality screen you got.

grajax 24

Sunday 5 March 2017 23:42

Are you sure it's not superman?

great_nate 26

Monday 6 March 2017 1:23

Dafuq did I just read???

darshini_ii 24

Monday 6 March 2017 4:15

Your cat has evolved. It's a mutant.

sexualchoclate 3

Monday 6 March 2017 4:30

It's an acid cat

shekinahflame 12

Monday 6 March 2017 5:17

its ok. my cat stepped on my old phone and web cracked it. she was so heavy one paw stepped on it and cracked while i slept

Keywords

Friends Love Awkward Miscellaneous Haircut Cute Relatable You're fired Work Cars Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Intimacy Sex Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 1 085

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

The Top

Today, I was told by my manager to make sure the supervisor on shift does his job. Last month I was told I couldn't be a supervisor. Apparently I can supervise someone who earns more than I do though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 724

You deserved it 1 750

Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 247

You deserved it 5 883

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 476

You deserved it 4 175

Today, I finally reached the age where me just being alive annoys my wife. She asked me during a movie if I “have to breathe like that because it’s so damn annoying.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 172

Today, what I thought would be a romantic sleepover with the guy I like quickly turned into hell on earth when his girlfriend showed up. I had to scale the fire escape in my underwear so I could get back to my car in one piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 904

You deserved it 36 458

Today, after having my sinuses draining for a couple days, my ma stopped by for a surprise visit. Upon discovering the trash can full of used tissues, she called my pastor grandfather to talk to me about the chronic masturbation problem I don't have, but that everyone now thinks I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 008

You deserved it 2 887