Today, my boyfriend of three years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after ignoring me for about a week, my boyfriend finally broke up with me. Why? He discovered that I use prescription deodorant. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me for not closing the door when I pooped. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm "high maintenance." I'd only asked him to use deodorant and brush his teeth. He hasn't had a shower in over a week. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, while hanging out with my boyfriend, I started getting ready for bed. As I grabbed my face wipes, he said, “Wait, don't take off your makeup because then you'll be ugly.“ FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I can stop using makeup, because it's "not working." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, in the bathroom. I noticed a pregnancy test in the trash can. He lives alone. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML
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Top comments
palmtrees 1
If he's really that dumb, be glad you're rid of him. Maybe he was looking for an excuse to break up?
melmcr 0
YDI because you could do so much better than a guy who makes decisions by assumptions only.
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Comments (151)
plas7icman 0
anyone who believes this is as dumb as the person who made it up. As some have previously stated : think of the timeline. Pure B.S.
smyle5 0
After 3 years? what did he think you did with the kid when he was around? stuff it in the closet? u are better off.
whobutme23 0
Yeah, this has to be fake. How can you be with somebody for 3 years and not know whether or not they have a kid? Lol, wtf. You're just an idiot for posting such a ridiculous FML.
HellfireRogue 7
That sucks. I use baby wipes for my makeup too, and for general feminine cleaning purposes. I would be pissed.
ColdGold 6
Ouch! Sounds like he had a hot date with someone else (not you). He just wanted to break-up for a little while. He'll be back after.
Professor59 2
Right. 3 years and he think you have a secret baby. If any of that crap is true, then he broke up with you for a different reason. And by "reason", I mean "woman".
karina_said 0
he probably didnt like you in the first place. you might have been some good as though
My2864 1
after 3 YEARS he assumse you have a kid? wtf?
bossybanks 0
WTF he's an idiot anyway, I mean it's not like he saw diapers and baby bottles. smh find a new man, who's at least smart enough to ASK questions!
fishycanswim 0
Why didn't you just tell him that?