Today, my boyfriend came home drunk and thought it would be funny to spray himself in the face with pepper spray. I was in his drunken firing line too. After him vomiting and being blinded for a few hours, he was fine. I, on the other hand, had a terrible allergic reaction and got rushed to hospital. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I drove my boyfriend to hospital because he felt extremely ill. His buddies had gotten their hands on a Taser, and he had the brilliant idea of being shot as part of a YouTube stunt video. Now I have an empty gas tank and have to clean up a puddle of vomit in my living room. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML
Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML
Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML
Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML
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Top comments
olivejuice001 0
Wow, next time he's drunk, convince him it would be funny for him to get a vasectomy. You'd be doing all of mankind a favor, preventing someone so stupid from reproducing.
f_alltheirlives 3
He thought it would be funny to maze himself? Was he trying to prevent raping himself? If so, did it work, or did he just continue to force his hand onto the poor penis? If he did then maybe that caused the blindness!!!
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Comments (43)
hedgehogs 0
Dump this idiot pronto.
artfreak21 0
Agreed.
cr4ckb0n3f4n 0
at least he got home rather than ******* random pussy
rightsideup 0
You were in his firing line? As in you stood next to him when he sprayed himself?
Quietcannon 0
Be glad it wasn't Wasp Spray like most people are carrying instead of Pepper Spray now-a-days. I guess either way, you'd till have to go to the hospital.
DrewsFML 8
Wow what an epic moron your bf is. He's so stupid he's actually a danger to himself and others. I just can't believe someone would be this spectacularly dumb. I hope for his and your sakes that this is fake!
Brayden93 0
what a n00b
Ninjaface 0
Why does your boyfriend have pepper spray? This is a good time to bail, because not only is your boyfriend a drunken idiot, he's also a sissy.
ryderthe8 0
you obviously dont care about him if you dont even think about his feelings. but way to be a bitch
hogermite 0
this is awesome.