Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML
Today, my 21 year-old boyfriend asked me what foreplay is. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the Bible during sex. He honestly doesn't understand. FML
Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML
Today, while at work, I had to explain over the phone to my 33-year-old boyfriend how to use Preparation H. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
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Top comments
starile 20
Step one: Slide the cell phone into a condom. Safety first.
DynamicDave 11
I tried phone sex once. The holes were way too small.
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Comments (70)
CoconutBizkit 3
@OP: How old is your boyfriend? 10? lol
bigredmonkeybutt 30
so you'd be happier if he was a pro at phone sex?
DrummerBoy21 0
Soo... Tizzy and Bree... Are you 2 having sex yet or what??
DynamicDave 11
I tried phone sex once. The holes were way too small.
RedPillSucks 33
The up side is that there were so many of them.
quaddrummer93 0
They have tried phone sex but tizzy realized that the holes on the phone were too small
karina02 9
#30 .......... wow. (:
quaddrummer93 0
Take his phone sex virginity haha
websmith 0
How is this an FML? He wants to have sex with you on the phone. Teach him!
MinnieBitch 5
What did your comment say
xX504DBXx 0
ahh. my penis won't fit through the tiny holes. am I doing this wrong,?!!
iliekpuddin 0
ya you penis must be too small
Cass3m0 0
I'm trying to make sense of your comeback, but it seems....you're a moron. :(
Cass3m0 0
I tried to make sense of your comeback but it seems the only logical answer I get is.....you're an idiot. :-/ Sorry if this posts twice.
soso75_fml 0
Now he knows what it is xD