By imonfmlnow - 13/08/2015 16:24 - United States

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, and he asked me to tell him what I wanted him to do. I said I wanted him to make me scream and cum. To which he replied, "Okay, be realistic now". FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 807
You deserved it 4 610

imonfmlnow tells us more.

Some of your comments kind of make me cringe, but this is FML so I guess I should have expected that. It was in fact not my boyfriends first time, not even close :P it was one of my first times, actually. He is the first person I've had sex with, and he knows what he's doing WAY more than I do. Anyways, he's just a really funny guy. He's confident and cocky and a goober and i love him. The first time we had sex I told him to talk dirty to me so he said okay and started whispering things like "the kitchen sink. The floor when I don't vacuum." And we both ended up laughing so hard we were crying. He's a fantastic guy, the love of my life, and I wouldn't leave him for anything. To wrap this up, why are people saying my expectations are too high? I've never had an ******, but I've given my boyfriend more than a few. I just wanted to know if I could have one, because I haven't got anywhere near an ****** yet in any sexual situations I've had in my whole life. I wasn't having false expectations, I think it's pretty normal to want to experience an ******. Anyway, thanks for reading!

Top comments

Maybe he just wanted to know what positions, etc. you liked as opposed to saying something cliche?

Rosebudx 32

"In that case, I want you to buy me a back massager."

Comments

thaqueen_fml 15

Maybe he wanted specifics, OP. Some guys are strictly literal.

He was right, yanno..you gotta temper expectations to reduce disappointment

muis545 21

-1 just because you said 'yanno'

This is so sad. U DESERVE AN ******. Especially if he finishes when you guys have sex

Jesus calm down, what are you the sex police?

Lol it's pretty selfish for a guy to have such low standards for how much he's going to please his girl. If he's going to be like that and have shitty sex, then he should just get a blow up doll

I mean he is being honest, some guys can only last so long mostly like 2

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
imlovingmylife 8

What are you, the ****** police?

it's okay to watch instructions videos. if you watch ****, keep it real.

FalloutScrolls 25

Not sure if honesty or bad joke placement.

subzero22 8

Sorry but you have to be realistic he can make you scream or cum but not both :p lol jk