Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time,...

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 321

You deserved it 34 484

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/12/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 598

You deserved it 6 379

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 130

You deserved it 8 212

Turn off

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 18:02 - Australia - Wembley

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 944

You deserved it 4 234

Bad actor

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 23:00

Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 1 327

Frustrated wank

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 284

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 065

You deserved it 4 515

Actor's Studio

By darthmilfious - 31/03/2010 07:56 - France

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 677

You deserved it 69 094

By valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 012

You deserved it 18 780

Romance isn't dead

By budda1368 - 09/10/2019 22:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. It was amazing, besides for the fact I barely felt him. I pretty much faked the entire thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 211

You deserved it 1 258

Do that again

By lotrgeek - 13/02/2012 13:37 - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 605

You deserved it 7 114

raysmith121 10

Saturday 1 August 2015 8:29

This really is your fault. You should instruct him and guide him.

MDoremis 38

Saturday 1 August 2015 8:31

You kind of deserved that. There's no point in lying to save someone's feelings and make yourself miserable.

Comments

Geckosrock99 33

Saturday 1 August 2015 16:34

YDI, you just taught him that you enjoy your ****** being bitch slapped. I don't see why you can't just talk to him. Tell him what you like, learn what he likes, and you can enjoy sex together. Real orgasms for both, and release stress together. You both would be feeling great if you are just honest with each other.

MandieL 27

Saturday 1 August 2015 16:39

Depends on the **** he watches.

chase2208 10

Saturday 1 August 2015 16:44

How hard is it to go "here try this" it'll make it better for both of you

ratchel_7 8

Saturday 1 August 2015 16:56

Instead of faking it you should have showed him what you like. Sound silly but it the end it will be better for you

trtnt25 19

Saturday 1 August 2015 17:18

I typically never fake an ****** for anybody. If you're bad at what you're doing I tell you, but typically help you to get me off.

trtnt25 19

Saturday 1 August 2015 17:30

I once had a guy that had a reputation for being great in bed. Then we got together, and typically he sucked and couldn't last longer then 3 minutes with me. I accidentally made him cry once because I let him know it sucked

Saraishi 24

Saturday 1 August 2015 17:25

At least you know that it was stupid to fake an ******, that's something.

Svetlana22 8

Saturday 1 August 2015 17:28

He did that because he saw it in bad ****... Either the guy or the girl will slap herself and then fake a huge turn on or something else..

deltoren 11

Saturday 1 August 2015 17:52

I'm sorry I can't stop laughing

Lucy1011 0

Saturday 1 August 2015 18:26

Why did you fake it? The best part of being new to the sex game is learning new things.

Dbotmen 9

Saturday 1 August 2015 18:47

YDI for not telling him what he did wrong. If he "thinks he's some kind of sex god" because you faked an ******, then you my friend, have ****** up so hard. Metaphorically, of course, because clearly your boyfriend can't.