Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML
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Top comments
jam26 0
are you sure he wasn't a virgin? I know most guys finish in like 2 seconds their first time. maybe he lied to you and he was a virgin too
amirn86 0
Hey, at least you know you turn him on A LOT This really never happens you can take my word I want to apologize that's just absurd Mainly you're at fault for the way that you dance and now I **** IN MY PANTS Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a **** Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus Now I'll go home and change I **** right in my pants every time you're next to me And when we're holding hands it's like having sex to me You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy I wear a rubber at all times cause it's a necessity Cause I **** in my pants
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Comments (248)
ThinkingPunkLove 0
lol i'm just apologizing for posting the same thing like three times XD my internet was being all uberly stupid and it wasnt showing that the comments i had made were working so i ended up reloading to page when my net reconnected and so it posted more then once >.<
stryden 0
i dont know how its possible to just end like that.. 30 seconds sems impossible = unreal! dump him now while you're still young!
TM_brain 0
Dude. Get someone new. That's bullshit. (sorry about your first time...)
KTteaspoon 0
Shit, bad first time. 30seconds and you aint even over the pain yet...
iBou_fml 4
that means ur bf masturbates more than 10 times every day -.-"
xxxhhhxxx 0
dont feel bad, thats happened to be about 3 times in a row, with the same guy. the first time alls i did was ride him with all of our clothes on. when he took off his pants, he'd already busted. neither of us were virgins. worst experience ever... lol
lolatflyingducks 0
#9, Awesome Lonely Island reference.
yummyorange 0
Wow **** that. By the way it depends on a lot of things, my first time I lasted quite a while (not an amazingly long time but around twenty minutes or so) and the first time I got head my girlfriend said she had to stop because she was too tired. She was giving me head for almost an hour and I wasn't finishing. It wasn't her either, she gave me good head afterward, the first time I just wasn't able to finish for some reason.
MixedNuts 0
You should let me know when u wanna have a great sexual experience and ill show u waht sex should be like!
044 0
sounds like my ex boyfriend.