Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML
Today, I finally found a job as a secretary for a small film studio. The sets are in a soundproofed part of the building, but not for the typical reasons. Right through the wall is a pornography studio. It's all I'll hear from 8 to 5 every day. FML
Today, I was written up and banned from playing my songs at the office. Turns out that my other workmates snitched on me because I was playing '90s rock and pop, which was stressing them out somehow. Of course, the burnout I had from listening to three straight hours of tacky Reggaeton music didn't matter. FML
Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML
Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML
Today, the guy in the cubicle across from me complained about me to our boss. Apparently, his relatives heard me typing something on his daily 8+ hour call to them, and now don't believe he has his own office. My boss took his side and asked me to type quieter. FML
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, I was studying my anatomy book for nursing school while in the break room at my day job. My nosy-ass, ignorant coworker who always finds a way to butt into everyone’s business told the front office I was looking at porn. I got written up for, "displaying offensive materials." FML
Today, I lost my earbuds on the subway to work, so I had to listen to my boss's terrible music all day. FML
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Top comments
shutup_matt 5
What kind of crappy music do you listen to?
deafeningsilence 8
Well, if they can't find anything, then you're in the clear.
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Comments (161)
taytoc 10
why do you sound worried? do you actually have **** on your files? if so then it's definitely karma.
WCARlover 35
how does he "sound worried"? he sounds annoyed to me
jemama 1
By his username. :)
ElainaCutsYou 0
The CD name: Sound of ****.
DKjazz 20
"This is pornstep, ************." Flux Pavilion? Anyone?
allyouneedis9 7
Those upbeat jazz instrumentals get you everytime.
bellakaykid 6
Your tunes must be really strange.
lindseyluvszac 4
You probably work harder to those beats ;)
kiakia0131 23
With a username called "ImScrewed" you obviously have something on your computer you shouldn't have.
Halcyon3210 6
Bow-chika-wow-wow
Stevefett 0
Your co-workers listen to a lot of **** do they? They know what the tracks sound like? Lol. Pervs.
skylerXx 6
You must have horrible taste in music.
Glitterhinoceros 14
...Giggity
HichSchko46 0
You are freaked cute. Don't know how to message you so try to get ahold of me...;)