Kids: Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two...

By Ugh - 27/02/2013 21:42 - United Kingdom

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 491

You deserved it 7 733

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Same thing different taste

Do I know you?

By goblue - 21/12/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 461

You deserved it 3 171

By roselysunset - 29/07/2015 17:07 - United States - Cypress

Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 752

You deserved it 1 621

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 20:00

Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 213

By Clader - 10/12/2008 03:09 - France

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 612

You deserved it 2 882

Parental disapproval

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 16:00

Today, my daughter gave me the “but daddy I love him” speech when she turned up to a family event with her boyfriend, who was at least 20 years older than her, was visibly intoxicated, stank of body odour and cigarettes, then tried to flirt with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 67

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 148

You deserved it 2 751

By sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 376

You deserved it 4 325

Mommy dearest

By Ohkourt - 20/04/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 110

Wake up

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 23:01

TToday, my daughter was hungover, so to teach her a lesson I started banging a pot next to her ear. An hour later, we’re in hospital. She wasn’t hungover; she hadn’t even been drinking. Her migraine was a huge aneurism one sneeze away from bursting and killing her instantly. I’m a terrible dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 2 444

Drunken antics

By eddie818 - 10/06/2012 07:54 - Canada - Sidney

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 259

You deserved it 3 248

MolesterStallone 13

Wednesday 27 February 2013 23:53

You should make her pancakes

Pleonasm 35

Thursday 28 February 2013 0:01

I bet that just scared the crêpe out of you, didn't it?

Comments

Pleonasm 35

Thursday 28 February 2013 0:01

I bet that just scared the crêpe out of you, didn't it?

HowieDoIt 21

Thursday 28 February 2013 0:07

IHOPe things resolve themselves quickly.

Pleonasm 35

Thursday 28 February 2013 0:16

I feel ashamed because it's called the INTERNATIONAL house of pancakes, but I had to look up the acronym because I didn't know what it meant.

Wizardo 33

Thursday 28 February 2013 0:23

Well she batter he to it and flip those pancakes

Wizardo 33

Thursday 28 February 2013 0:25

IHOP* the mobile app needs an edit function :/

HowieDoIt 21

Thursday 28 February 2013 0:38

It's ok pleo, waffle had our bad moments

Freeze_fml 16

Thursday 28 February 2013 0:56

These are just waffle.

GothickNihilist 15

Thursday 28 February 2013 4:07

#25 If this is the international house of pancakes, how come I can't eat the walls?

HeartOfLead 24

Thursday 28 February 2013 5:33

Never Denny your kids pancakes or waffles, EVER!

rhysfucker 24

Thursday 28 February 2013 0:02

It could be worse. She could want a soufflé.

songtrees 8

Thursday 28 February 2013 0:03

Can't blame a girl for wanting some pancakes... But you can blame her for excessively drinking underage and not even bothering to be sneaky about it. Sounds like you've got your hands full. Good luck.

rockbandaddict85 22

Thursday 28 February 2013 0:05

considering op is in the UK....I think the legal drinking age is 18 there....but I get ur point.

horneyhic 15

Thursday 28 February 2013 6:06

The drinking age is only 21 in the US the rest of the industrialized world is between 16-19

perdix 29

Thursday 28 February 2013 0:03

Hey, you gotta feed your kids. If you didn't want to accept that responsibility, you should have kept your legs closed. While you're at it, I'll take some chocolate chip pancakes, please. Thanks, love ;) You thought you were off the hook once the kid turned 18? Haha, think again.