Today, it was my first day as a vacuum salesman. While I was demonstrating how well it removed stains, I managed to smear stuff over the area I was cleaning. So not only was I unsuccessful in removing the original stains, I left them with worse carpet than when I got there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave a carpet shampooing demonstration in a stranger's home. To my surprise, the white expensive carpet was dyed grey due to something in the solution. The owner held me hostage in her house by barracading the door until my manager got there. FML
Today, I bought a new vacuum cleaner after having to go several months without one. Immediately, I wanted to try it out. I must have underestimated how powerful it was, as it sucked up my socks and then broke. FML
Today, I was at my summer babysitting job. The family's dog puked on the carpet and I proceeded to clean it up with baking soda and a mix of water/vinegar. Instead of blending in with the other areas of the carpet, the one spot I cleaned is white while the other areas are still darkened by filth. FML
Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML
Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML
Today, I used the community vacuum to clean my dorm. When spots started appearing on the floor, I assumed it was leaking water. By the time I finished there were tons of wet spots on the floor. Later I found out that someone had just used that very vacuum to suck up vomit. FML
Today, I vacuumed my car as I'm trying to sell it. After the interior was clean, I sprayed some air freshener. The chosen smell was "new car". I think they mislabeled it, as my car now smells like urinal cakes. I have two potential buyers coming tomorrow. FML
Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML
Today, I spilt purple washing detergent all over my white carpet. Desperate to get it up I grabbed a blue towel and started mopping it up. The detergent hasn't stained the carpet at all, the blue dye from the towel has. FML
Today, I bought a used SUV that had fairly dirty carpets, that got even more dirty as I drove my two daughters around. I got it professionally cleaned and detailed and it looks brand new, but now my daughters cry and scream as I put them in the clean car, because their favorite stain is not there anymore. FML
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Top comments
MrSchneebly 5
Wow you used their carpet! Jesus bring a tester one or something, don't go trashing peoples homes
WCARlover 35
"...and this is how not to use it"
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Comments (95)
structuredchaoz 4
Hey bud. I know many people who have done that job. Leave now before it costs you anymore money. Seriously.
coolidgesmith 2
You work for Kirby, dontcha.
someguynamedjohn 9
that is why when a salesman or a witness comes to my door i answer naked with a stiffy and condoms in hand it doesn't take long for them to get off the porch
someguynamedjohn 9
salesmen are almost as creepy as witness's
fpike17 0
Time for a new career bro. You just weren't cut out for the grueling profession that is vacuum salesman.
bryan33_fml 2
It shud be today, it was my first day as a vacuum salesmen, Fml.
1seven1 0
Well this was your first, and last day
anna15243 6
that was at my house! haha
1seven1 0
Serious!? I bet you're pissed!
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
FYL for being a door to door vacuum salesman...
IndigoAcrylic 9
Some people like jobs that involve a lot of sucking ^_^
tildoorf84 7
I HATE YOU SO MUCH, YOU ARE SCUM
Ergayles 9
Damn, what the hell is your problem?
newlove_fml 0
Someone clearly has some issues with door to door salesmen. You might want to have a doctor check that out honey.