Transportation: Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I...

By rene - 22/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 894

You deserved it 3 371

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 04:57 - United States - Paducah

Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 044

You deserved it 4 335

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 17:09 - Philippines - Makati

Today, after a week of looking for my car keys and being forced to drag my family around on public transportation, my wife found the keys in our car's ignition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 093

You deserved it 32 292

Partyblocked

By story of my life - 07/03/2022 02:00

Today, it's my birthday. I'd asked my mom weeks ago if she could watch my kids, so my husband and I could go celebrate. She told me an hour before we were supposed to leave I'd have to reschedule, so she could watch my brother's kids while he goes out for fun. Gee, thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 477

You deserved it 108

Drive

By Anonymous - 20/11/2021 16:59 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. Two of my best friends forgot it, and so did my grandparents. All of my friends were busy, so I spent it alone in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 136

Lower your expectations

By Brilliant... - 25/05/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year-olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 601

You deserved it 5 320

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 11:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 221

You deserved it 5 415

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 11:29 - Netherlands

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 786

You deserved it 3 827

By Thomas - 13/12/2009 06:46 - Canada

Today, I woke up to find my parents singing "Happy birthday" with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 758

You deserved it 2 719

Dude, where's my car?

By not_so_sweet_sixteen - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. I was hoping to get a car. Instead, my parents got me a three month membership at the gym so I can lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 723

You deserved it 56 292

By nick - 24/07/2012 00:52 - United States - Palm Desert

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 514

You deserved it 12 610

TheMadScientist 13

Monday 22 August 2011 23:00

Awesome kids!

takanuva0123 0

Monday 22 August 2011 23:01

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Comments

WHOWASTHEPHONE 10

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:16

Maybe they should "lose" something as well.

WhyMeMann 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:21

Happy Birthday!!!:D

princessari88 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:30

Lmaooooo

RealDjRatchet 0

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:32

That = punishment

ikickgingers 15

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:32

Gotta love kids.

kona314 1

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:34

It's the thought that counts?

Alexzmoo 5

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:35

Happy birthday

divadro102 16

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:36

Awww how cute.. Now, no cake for them

starsaregolden 11

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:38

At least they didn't give you the change they found in your purse via the toilet bowl.

eugenejiang 2

Tuesday 23 August 2011 0:39

????????????????????

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I had the most uncomfortable feeling in my socks, but I didn't care to check. It wasn't until I got home that I realized that the feeling was a small thin piece of glass that was slowly cutting away at the bottom of my foot. I still don't know how it got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 310

You deserved it 4 560

Today, it's the eighth day in the last two weeks that my job has kept me late, while working with broken equipment. It's been longer than that, but I started counting two weeks ago. I've been cussed out because of the broken equipment too. No amount of money is worth not seeing my girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 170

Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 277

You deserved it 3 838

Today, I had my gallbladder removed. I have a very painful incision in my belly that makes any kind of movement excruciating. I've had the hiccups 5 times so far. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 540

You deserved it 2 401

Today, I talked to a teenage girl that came in for debilitating constipation. Turns out she'd stopped drinking water and had been purposely holding her bowels because her new online boyfriend convince her it’s unattractive and unladylike for girls to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 101

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 213

You deserved it 3 715