Miscellaneous: Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far...

By Colin Jr. - 23/09/2015 13:24 - United States

Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 789

You deserved it 1 686

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By fuck off, dad - 02/01/2014 17:07 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 218

You deserved it 4 779

Growing old disgracefully

By adam - 05/12/2015 14:54 - Czech Republic

Today, my dad is having his midlife crisis, bought a Mercedes, along with having a girlfriend less than half his age. I was trying to be supportive, until I found out he is funding his midlife crisis with my university loan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 258

You deserved it 1 558

Get in, kid

By -__- - 28/10/2011 11:50 - Australia

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 202

You deserved it 2 592

By phonemenace - 17/08/2011 09:50 - United States

Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 789

You deserved it 2 825

Mid-life crisis

By theslutmuncher - 14/12/2012 23:20 - Germany - Merseburg

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 911

You deserved it 2 481

Crisis control

By Cuntlette - 11/04/2014 16:38 - Australia - Brighton

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 564

You deserved it 3 370

By krystal - 27/10/2011 00:24 - United States

Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 962

You deserved it 14 433

By Anonymous - 22/02/2010 16:38 - United States

Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 718

You deserved it 3 426

By ugh - 04/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Milford

Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 432

You deserved it 1 116

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 10:22 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 703

You deserved it 2 411

christopherwilli 14

Wednesday 23 September 2015 23:58

That's a pretty extreme midlife crisis.

maryic4ever 19

Thursday 24 September 2015 0:01

Once he sees how ****** up the younger generation is I bet he will go back to normal

Comments

scarlett3diaz 24

Thursday 24 September 2015 2:19

My dad spent my college fund on Asian hookers and now he's going to marry one.

annie_zoo 27

Thursday 24 September 2015 3:10

okay... uh wtf. haha, are you okay with that?

enginsteve 17

Thursday 24 September 2015 4:36

I wish I had a college fund to spend on Asian hookers

JebMcdeber 11

Thursday 24 September 2015 3:04

Yeah.. it must suck having a college fund to lose part of it. Join the rest of us poor motherfuckers who have to go into debt to get a degree. Apparently it "builds character". You'll appreciate it when you're older.

ThePandoricaOpen 18

Thursday 24 September 2015 3:13

Just because some people have. (or had, in OP's case), the chance to go to college debt-free, doesn't give you the right to upset about it, get over it.

JebMcdeber 11

Thursday 24 September 2015 3:37

No, you misunderstand my intention. My sarcasm isn't directed at his good luck, but at his indignation at losing it. Easy come easy go I say, and don't be a shit about it. And **** you. I have the right to feel any way about anything. I'm a god-damned American.