Today, it's the first evening that my husband and I will have without the kids in 8 months. We had been looking forward to it for ages, and my husband had even bought me some lovely new lingerie for the occasion. Guess what? I just got diarrhea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML
Today, I surprised my wife with some new lingerie for our upcoming anniversary, thinking she would like it. Instead of a thank you, I got an ungrateful attitude from her instead. FML
Today, I received the gifts of my period, diarrhea, severe dizziness and double vision, and an ant infestation in my home. These were followed by the glaring absence of any gifts from my husband. Happy 40th to me. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, my kid has severe diarrhoea. My husband said he was going out to get medicine. Two long, painful hours later, I find he's out eating and chilling with his friends. FML
Today, I found out that explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the altar, while my husband said his vows. FML
Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
So? He can still play in the mud.
allmidnighteyes 11
I think the diarrhea addition was a clever ploy to detract our attention away from what they did to their children in order to get that away time. I'm onto you, OP. ಠ_ಠ
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Comments (118)
scarsnstars45 0
1.) FAKE OR 2.)You planned that shit cause your screwy
gis_mappr 0
suck him off like a pro
Erindub 0
Take some immodium and STFU! Good god, sorry for going off on you but I'm in a bad mood today and as a 30 year old woman I decided I'd never want to share my time/life with dealing with children so I don't have kids. I say YDI for having kids : )
redshortsx 0
that's nasty
chazerboy 0
Well thats a turn off. http://ihatejade.com/?id=ts6tejwm4y7xy92z1stbrnfsjdtbvi
mrs_sean_flanery 0
don't post links like that, your an ass for postig links to hate sights! for all you know you just caused this girl's suicide because you posted that link. good job jackass
ClaireXX 0
#34 you're an ass. To make that site is more immature than cheating. You don't deserve a good relationship.
Squander 3
That is the worst action blockage ever. Especially if it's that nasty kinda diarrhea where it comes back in small waves over hours XD So for anyone who says just wipe real well....she might just have to deal with more than that lol
Erindub 0
Take some immodium and STFU! Good god, sorry for going off on you but I'm in a bad mood today and as a 30 year old woman I decided I'd never want to share my time/life with dealing with children so I don't have kids. I say YDI for having kids : )
aback 5
Work on that scat fetish.
elisabethecstasy 0
Oh wow haha. Pepto Bismol (:
JCrown84 0
Thats disgusting. Honestly, what prompted you to post that on the internet? Just ew.