Kids: Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked...

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:41 - United Kingdom - Oundle

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 376

You deserved it 3 643

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Same thing different taste

Stunned silence

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 22:42 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 171

You deserved it 3 901

By njh - 27/03/2015 13:29 - Ireland

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 335

You deserved it 3 594

By I don't know, son - 16/11/2013 01:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 839

You deserved it 4 777

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 20:51 - United States

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 087

You deserved it 4 024

Kids talk

By SerenityJ - 27/09/2013 20:00 - United States - Mountain View

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 027

You deserved it 7 147

By super maman - 30/09/2014 03:08 - France - Montauban

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 698

You deserved it 5 487

By blah blah daddy - 02/10/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 420

You deserved it 10 375

By Anonymous - 25/11/2013 19:47 - United States - Olive Branch

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 953

You deserved it 13 838

By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 20:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 476

You deserved it 5 780

Little twit

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 03:38 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 733

You deserved it 7 130

captain_crook 17

Saturday 2 May 2015 8:34

someone who likes succulent chicken? :P

rxsey16 16

Saturday 2 May 2015 8:35

So you're the dad I'm assuming? Better go talk to your wife.

Comments

brownapple 22

Saturday 2 May 2015 9:09

So what did you say?

babetgirl 14

Saturday 2 May 2015 9:17

But if it's your son, why didn't he ask why you call him that?

1dvos_grl3 21

Saturday 2 May 2015 9:39

The kid's mom calls the kid's dad a cocksucker...

sic0211 11

Saturday 2 May 2015 9:20

You should also ask him to 'come out'

AndyPurdy 31

Saturday 2 May 2015 9:52

he's 7 dude,i dont think he's gay

Pyneapple 19

Saturday 2 May 2015 9:54

"It's what your mom does for a living" is what you should've responded with.

bdsmslave 18

Saturday 2 May 2015 9:54

Charming wife you've got there.

Dick_diamond 22

Saturday 2 May 2015 10:04

The meaning of the word has changed over the years, son. It used to mean "good woman" but now apparently means "bad man"!!

thegovernment 7

Saturday 2 May 2015 10:06

Did you teach him what it was? Education is key people!

Eyalsh 32

Sunday 3 May 2015 3:25

thanks, Obama.

esamolwan 18

Saturday 2 May 2015 11:22

something to laugh about when you grow old

irish_lad 16

Saturday 2 May 2015 11:30

Thats kids for ya. Annoying little things you wish you don't have at times but still love em

Bragi 12

Saturday 2 May 2015 11:55

Divorced or separated, OP?

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The Top

Today, my 58 year-old mother told me she’s having a baby. Apparently she hasn’t started menopause yet, but assumed from her age she wouldn’t get pregnant when she started seeing a man she goes to bingo with. 58 years-old. My little brother/sister is going to be 36 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 81

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room. Apparently, there is only one serious side effect of getting your tonsils out when you're an adult, which is only seen in about 1% of patients: bleeding of the throat. It can be deadly. I'm part of that 1%. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 889

You deserved it 2 766

The Top

Today, despite knowing full well that I am allergic to citric acid, I bought and ate candy that is essentially just powdered and flavoured citric acid. Now my tongue is too swollen and painful to eat. I’m a dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 1 279

Today, my mom told me to be my sister’s maid of honor at her wedding or I’m out of her will. She says if I don’t go, I’m being selfish, and she wants to see her “baby girls” bonding one last time before she dies. I would gladly go if my sister wasn’t marrying my ex-husband, who cheated on me with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 407

You deserved it 109

Today, my dad took me to the 'Super Butcher'. It's basically a warehouse turned into a giant, walk-in meat freezer, complete with headless pig carcasses. I'm a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 467

You deserved it 12 521

Today, I was getting a pedicure when the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds, because "they love skin." She then described for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 490

You deserved it 4 380

Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 726

You deserved it 4 653

Today, I found my beloved hamster dead in her cage. Later that day, my boyfriend told me he already noticed that she was dead last night, but did not feel like telling me because he was afraid I wouldn't feel like doing it anymore that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 461

You deserved it 4 487

Same thing different taste

Stunned silence

Kids talk

Little twit

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