Health: Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old...

By Anonymous - 27/10/2009 10:28 - United Kingdom

Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for 'anti-social behavior'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 620

You deserved it 2 941

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Same thing different taste

Get out

By pipefitter28 - 27/12/2012 06:46 - Canada - Vernon

Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 129

You deserved it 28 900

By Mark - 30/03/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 450

You deserved it 74 956

By yogapants - 24/09/2010 20:21 - Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 250

You deserved it 14 868

Core

By Anonymous - 18/03/2023 16:00

Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 164

Stealth

By smellyhair - 02/11/2014 11:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 141

You deserved it 3 867

Foul

By cdubb27 - 11/10/2010 06:00 - United States

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 122

You deserved it 9 043

By belle_arina - 08/10/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 423

You deserved it 8 519

By tantanpanda - 24/06/2015 12:44 - United States

Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 495

You deserved it 1 942

Stealth bomber

By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 136

Check her out

By minnie - 28/08/2009 18:30 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 806

You deserved it 6 906

2step 1

Tuesday 27 October 2009 16:04

WTF? Reported and kicked out for farting? Is it some nazi gym?

FreddyLunch 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 15:58

"Fancied" is such a British thing to say, I'm glad that you are keeping it British and didn't say you had a crush on her.

Comments

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Tuesday 27 October 2009 15:58

You don't have to lie, OP. Just claim it proudly, leave your best SBD (Silent But Deadly) and haul ass. That'll teach the snitch.

blastvortex 3

Tuesday 27 October 2009 16:10

Agreed. Of course, since the old duffer will probably (eventually) do it again, those three will also likely get their just desserts from their own stupidity as well.

pingpongpickle 8

Saturday 10 April 2010 20:14

they kick people out for farting?

FreddyLunch 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 15:58

"Fancied" is such a British thing to say, I'm glad that you are keeping it British and didn't say you had a crush on her.

violentturtle 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 22:26

LOL! YDI for being British.

duckorange 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 16:01

"He who smelt it dealt it"

wtfismyfml 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 18:35

said the rhyme committed the crime!

mcgugs 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 17:08

irony...

2step 1

Tuesday 27 October 2009 16:04

WTF? Reported and kicked out for farting? Is it some nazi gym?

violentturtle 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 22:28

LMAO @ #12. They are British...

Darrus 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 16:21

In Austria, some guy got fined for farting next to a police officer^^. I'm not sure if he really had to pay in the end though...

956TXking 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 16:04

this reminds me of pineapple express... was that a fart.. I can taste it lol

AdviceDog 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 16:13

▒▒▒▒▒EAT FARTS░░░░░ ▒▒▒▒█▓▓▓▓▓█░░░░ ▒▒██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓█░░ ▒█▒█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▒█░ █▒▒█▒▒█▒▒█▒▒█▒█ ░█▒▒█▒▒░░▒▒▒▒█░ ░░█▒█░▒▒█▒▒░█▒░ ░░░██░░███░░█▒▒ ░░░░█░░█▒█░█▒▒▒ ░░░░░░▓▓█▓▒▒▒▒▒ ░░░FOR NUTRITION▒▒▒▒

toink 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 16:40

Aww! Cute dog! Here, have a cookie!

FerrariCake 2

Tuesday 27 October 2009 16:17

Why would you bend down to pick up weights near an old man's ass? Couldn't you have chosen some other weights? Sounds like you chose the weights you did so that when you farted you thought you could blame it on the old guy.

theshow8812 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 16:21

kicked out for farting. that sucks. "When you pick up weights,you fart" that happens. At least it means you have perfect body. lol

Jewelofagal 2

Tuesday 27 October 2009 16:25

While amusing, this is not a believable story in many respects. Nice try, though.

perdix 29

Tuesday 27 October 2009 16:37

Sherlock Holmes on the case! Have the instructor make the girl smell your ass and the old man's ass. She might have to wedge her nose into your cracks to positively ID the fart. The guilty party must leave. Elementary, my dear Watson.