Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two... - FML

By girl - 22/11/2009 00:36 - United States

Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

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Rock, hard place

Boozehound alert

Non-baby fever

By kiwibox - 26/10/2013 01:50 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/2/2015 00:20 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

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By JSF1234 - 11/5/2009 17:07 - United States

Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/3/2011 17:32 - United Kingdom

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

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By veggocake - 26/9/2009 08:05 - United States

Today, an old friend that I never really liked invited me to lunch while she was in town. While driving back to her car, I couldn't find my phone, so she offered to call it. She found it under the passenger seat and also saw that when she called, her name came up as "Sabrina-IGNORE". FML

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By asianjoe - 11/7/2011 01:13 - United States

Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/9/2010 14:41 - Germany

Today, after almost a week of being bed-ridden with a bad flu, my mom told me it was my job to clean the house. When I told her I still had a fever and didn't feel well, she looked at me and said in an understanding voice "It's okay honey, you can do it slowly." FML

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By Anonymous - 17/8/2015 08:33 - United States

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 21:03 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, is the start of the third month that I prayed I would be fired, just so I didn't have to quit because I hate awkward conversations. FML

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By Gentleman - 11/1/2010 05:19 - United States

Today, I was very sick with a stomach virus, so I went to the only doctor's office open on Sundays. Even though I was feeling like a pile of shit, I waited for a woman who was walking in behind me to hold the door open for her. She was the last patient they could take for the day. FML

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By collegekidproblems - 30/6/2016 19:35 - United States

Today, I have put in many job applications and had many interviews for a variety of positions all of which I am highly qualified for. Today, I heard back from all but one that I am overqualified. Welcome to Walmart. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/4/2014 23:24 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/7/2012 08:08 - United States - Rock Springs

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/10/2010 21:42 - Canada

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/10/2013 17:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

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By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 09:06 - United States - Pomona

Today, I was bitched out by my shrew of a mother for getting engaged, to a man. She's not homophobic, but rather pissed off because gay marriage is "trendy" and she wants me to be "above that nonsense". Hurray for love. FML

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By has an old monitor - 5/12/2014 14:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, the family computer's 15-year-old CRT monitor which gives me headaches finally stopped working. My dad quickly found a replacement: an even older CRT monitor that gives me worse headaches. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/1/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

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By Fresca11 - 29/6/2011 00:51 - United States

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend. We'd just got our food when my dad walks in, comes up to our table and says, "I didn't say you could leave, you're too young to be dating him", then drags me out of the restaurant. We are both 15, and it was my first date. FML

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By Hreid254 - 5/2/2016 16:07 - United States - Temple

Today, my dogs somehow pulled the water spigot off the wall in my backyard. I now have my own private lake. FML

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By Rehab - 11/2/2010 19:58 - United States

Today, I was looking through my computer's history to find a website I had visited. I found an online forum where my son was discussing how to inject Oxycontin. FML

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By Pierce - 5/6/2009 16:56 - United States

Today, I was with my 14 year old son when we saw a baby sparrow being attacked by four or five blackbirds. We rushed up, waving our arms and scared away the much bigger attackers. The baby sparrow ran toward us for protection, then went past both of us and ran straight down a storm sewer. FML

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By jessica - 17/2/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

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By some things never change - 28/11/2012 23:04 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML

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By anon - 31/3/2014 22:10 - United States - Chappaqua

Today, my dad got me one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML

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By AML - 31/10/2013 14:30 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my 19-year-old, long-distance boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to text me all day because it's too hard to type while in his Spider-Man suit. It's non-negotiable. FML

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By uneducated - 7/3/2010 00:49 - United States

Today, I found out that my 50-year-old Father is the 'Sugar Daddy' to a 20-year-old. He wasted my college funds on her, which I have been dutifully saving for ever since I was 10. FML

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By Unemployed - 28/8/2016 17:16 - Australia - Hinchinbrook

Today, I discovered that my supervisor, who I thought liked me, actually thinks I am incompetent and lack emotional intelligence. I'm a student nurse and I've just listed her as my reference for our single, statewide job application. There's no way to change it. FML

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By unzucht - 30/5/2012 16:45 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

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By fucking moron - 9/12/2014 09:39 - United States - Mount Holly

Today, while fasting for a medical test, my blood sugar became so low that I had heart palpitations and passed out. My doctor's advice? Fast, so he can run more tests. FML

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By zachadams - 16/9/2013 21:03 - United States - Buffalo

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

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By Why? - 5/11/2015 03:57 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, our dog died. My daughter was really upset about it, so my husband tried to cheer her up. "At least she will be doing something that she liked forever: Sleeping!" My daughter continued to cry for half an hour. FML

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By box butt - 7/3/2017 00:00

Today, after much dieting and exercise, I can proudly say that my love handles are now bigger than my ass. FML

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By failed brood mare - 17/11/2013 17:46 - United States - Hollywood

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

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By BrefODM - 13/6/2014 03:15 - United Kingdom

Today, thanks to an efficient diet, I reached my target weight. Unfortunately, my chest has disappeared. My boyfriend suggested we have a funeral for my bras. FML

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By Stupid - 1/3/2019 04:00

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's wife. He's still saying he is not married. FML

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By papersofdivorce - 31/1/2013 17:08 - Peru - Lima

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/1/2011 05:09 - United States

Today, at the job I've had for eight years, I finally got the raise I was supposed to get a year ago. One hour later I found out the store was closing and we were all out of a job in two weeks. FML

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By torkx3 - 21/7/2009 20:22 - United States

Today, a resident went missing at our nursing home. When I found him, a man in a blue shirt and red pants, he started yelling at me in confusion. I just thought it was his alzheimers. When I brought him to my administrator, I was told the missing resident was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. Wrong guy. FML

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By Gob - 16/1/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

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Top comments

By lithiumflower | 0

#682972 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:22

Could've been worse -- at least you had a bra on!

By Iliaria | 0

#682983 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:28

Let's hope you weren't wearing a lacy type bra to dance class. Since you need support, I'd be wearing a sports bra or at least one that's not see-through. And in that case, so what? If you were in your bikini top on camera, would you mind?

COMMENTS

By _anonymoose_ | 0

#682968 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:20

hahaha

Reply

loninessYman | 0

#683095 - Sunday 22 November 2009 11:44

i want the video!

Reply

brutallyhonest24 | 0

#684093 - Monday 23 November 2009 1:15

Video Video Video!!! =D

Reply

IamJAX | 0

#685239 - Monday 23 November 2009 20:11

Here you go...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI

Reply

Reyo | 2

#685316 - Monday 23 November 2009 20:43

Best...play...EVAR!

Reply

Anteezy | 7

#685359 - Monday 23 November 2009 21:10

rofl i just got rickrolled :x

Reply

plzdunstpdamusic | 0

#689067 - Thursday 26 November 2009 11:49

The video is on private.

Reply

rcbarnes | 24

#4112742 - Friday 2 March 2012 3:33

Video link's dead. :-(

By lithiumflower | 0

#682972 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:22

Could've been worse -- at least you had a bra on!

Reply

_anonymoose_ | 0

#682974 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:25

true

Reply

FalseInsight | 6

#4187724 - Monday 19 March 2012 21:04

*video* or it didn't happen

By Iliaria | 0

#682983 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:28

Let's hope you weren't wearing a lacy type bra to dance class. Since you need support, I'd be wearing a sports bra or at least one that's not see-through. And in that case, so what? If you were in your bikini top on camera, would you mind?

By allmidnighteyes | 10

#682986 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:30

You could've just worn a looser fitting outer shirt...

By allisha | 7

#682991 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:35

well you would think you would see that as a good thing, unless your out of shape..which I would doubt since your in dance in the first place

By shootingstar8D | 0

#683007 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:47

ohh crapp..... lets hope you have a nice rack!

By Erranty | 0

#683021 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:58

I don't see a problem with this as long as you've got a good body. And since you're a dancer, you probably do.

Reply

renaet | 0

#683537 - Sunday 22 November 2009 19:53

Eh. The girls on our dance team at my school don't always have the best bodies. Dancing and being a fat ass don't always have a connection.

Reply

jdawg2010 | 0

#3615510 - Monday 21 November 2011 17:28

Wow...

Reply

Killuhk | 8

#4525449 - Tuesday 5 June 2012 8:59

Seriously 33? Lol all the girls on my team in hs were skinny as hell, I sadly, would be considered the "fattest" one....and i'm in great shape

Reply

T1A2Z3 | 34

#7598905 - Wednesday 14 February 2018 14:06

Just because someone has a nice body doesn't mean they want to show it to an entire audience plus whoever buys the tape...

By cerebellum_fml | 0

#683030 - Sunday 22 November 2009 10:09

Well get something after it?
at least they didnt say eww
some guys must have been disappointed that you stopped

By Snowlight_fml | 7

#683046 - Sunday 22 November 2009 10:40

At least you didn't swipe your bra of as well

By loninessYman | 0

#683073 - Sunday 22 November 2009 11:34

send the video to me , or give me the photo ,please!
thanks!

Reply

cheerloveyou | 0

#2306770 - Thursday 7 April 2011 3:37

pervert much?!

Reply

whorerhorror | 6

#3316348 - Tuesday 20 September 2011 11:46

immature much?! that quote is so cliche with little girls, it's annoying