Miscellaneous: Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two... - FML

By girl - United States

Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

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Season finale

Always ask for documentation

Rock n Roll is a dirty business

By mrdentist

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

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By Jesstanothergurl - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had to visit a new office building for a meeting. Halfway through the meeting, I got really nauseous and needed to throw up. I ran to find a bathroom, but got lost and ended up in a printing room. With no other option, I was forced to puke into a large envelope. FML

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By stelssy - United States

Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML

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By "lk07" - United States - Richmond

Today, I'm stuck in bed with a fever, aches, and nasty cough. My kids and husband had it too, and kept coughing without covering their mouths, despite my asking several times so I wouldn't get sick. FML

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By fuck you, gran - United States - Ashland

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

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By LFE - United States - Liberty Hill

Today, after applying at over 30 businesses over the past 6 months, I have had not one single call. I later find out that I was using my old phone number on the applications, and my secondary phone was my mom's. She thought they were telemarketers. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I fell asleep on the way to a pool party and woke up covered in sharpie swastikas and dicks. FML

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By BadgerSpirit - United States

Spooky

Today, I woke my husband up at 2 a.m., screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally said, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four-year-old daughter with her blanket. FML

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By hippie88 - United States - New York

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

Today, I figured out why I've used triple the amount of cellphone minutes than I usually do over the past month since moving out. Is it because I suddenly have a social life now that I'm living on my own? No. All those calls were made to my mom because I'm lonely. FML

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By brokenface - United States - Notre Dame

Today, I finally kicked my awful nail-biting habit. All it took was a fractured jaw. I haven't been able to chew anything for two weeks. FML

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By sicky - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I learned that I have a sinus infection, ear infection and bronchitis so bad it was on the verge of pneumonia. My work won't let me call in sick. I work with kids. Lovely. FML

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By layout - United States

Today, while laying out, I kept feeling something misty, like a spray bottle. Curious as to what it was since it kept coming, I looked up, only to see the painters were peeing over the side of the house, and the heavy breeze was turning their piss into a refreshing mist for me. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/4/2021 18:30 - United States - Johnstown

Cars and cards

Today, I took my car through the automated wash. I was too close to swipe my card, so the attendant reached for it and somewhere between our hands, the card fell into the grate and down a small crack 10ft into nasty water. The whole car wash was shut down to pull the massive grate up. It took about 2 hours. FML

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By Crystal - France

Today, I was so bored that I filmed my goldfish while it was eating. FML

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By Anonymous

Alarmed

Today, after 5 hours of attempting to sleep, I began to finally drift off. Then, some fuckwit who'd parked his car right outside my door took 20 minutes to switch his alarm off. I have to be up in about 4 hours, after a 12-hour night shift, heading into another. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

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By footinmouth - United States

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

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By Ouchie - Ireland - Celbridge

Today, in an effort to be more active, I jumped out of bed ready for a morning jog. Or, that was the plan. Instead, I twisted my knee so badly standing up, it's now locked, and I can't move it. So much for activity. FML

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By Athsmatic and Angry - 29/11/2020 22:30 - Canada - Saskatoon

Read the room, lady

Today, I got bitched at by an old lady in Walmart for not wearing a mask. I had lowered my mask to use my inhaler, because I was having an asthma attack. FML

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By spinster - United States - Lubbock

Today, as I was creeping on social media, I realized that literally everyone I've ever dated is either happily married, engaged, or in a relationship. My last date was at the beginning of the summer. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my purse was stolen. Too bad it had all of my money and my passport. My flight is tomorrow, and the embassy is closed until Monday. Guess who gets to stay in a foreign country with no money and no identification for the next 3 days. FML

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By annoyed - United States - Berkeley

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

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By janesays - United States

Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

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By grossed the f out

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years, the father of my son, has been the pervert who has been harassing my mother with weird texts and pictures of his knob. The cops told me after we went to the police station to report it and catch the creep. FML

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By namhtor - United States

Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We were having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML

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By single - China

Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML

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By PhDdaughter - Switzerland

Today, the electrician came because our kitchen light has been flickering. After examining the installation, he screws the lightbulb tighter in the socket. My parents both are PhDs. FML

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By PhilDavisDied? - France

He bangs the drums

Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML

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By confused - Australia - Glen Waverley

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

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By bxjxj - United States

Today, I asked my grandpa why he spoils me so much. He told me it's because he truly believes no one else will ever want to. FML

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By sleepytime - United States

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

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By dazedandconfused - United Kingdom

Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML

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By mytoehurts - Canada - Ayr

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

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By nerdlette - United States - Newport News

Today, I was feeling really down and insecure after a friend joked about how small my boobs are. When my grandma got me to tell her what happened, she reassured me that all the girls in our family were late bloomers. I said "Really?" and she replied, "Oh no dear. Quite the opposite." FML

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By ugh - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that we need a code word for when I'm being annoying. FML

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By SickSmick - United Kingdom

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

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By catattack78 - United States

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

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By Michelle - New Zealand

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash a KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, we had bingo. Three rounds into it a group behind me started to yell, "BINGO, BINGO!". I looked around and saw no one was coming to verify that they had a bingo, so I turned around and said "Stand up." The girl was a midget, she was standing up. FML

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By jeezy - Canada

Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML

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Top comments

By lithiumflower | 0

#682972 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:22

Could've been worse -- at least you had a bra on!

By Iliaria | 0

#682983 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:28

Let's hope you weren't wearing a lacy type bra to dance class. Since you need support, I'd be wearing a sports bra or at least one that's not see-through. And in that case, so what? If you were in your bikini top on camera, would you mind?

COMMENTS

By _anonymoose_ | 0

#682968 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:20

hahaha

Reply

loninessYman | 0

#683095 - Sunday 22 November 2009 11:44

i want the video!

Reply

brutallyhonest24 | 0

#684093 - Monday 23 November 2009 1:15

Video Video Video!!! =D

Reply

IamJAX | 0

#685239 - Monday 23 November 2009 20:11

Here you go...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI

Reply

Reyo | 2

#685316 - Monday 23 November 2009 20:43

Best...play...EVAR!

Reply

Anteezy | 7

#685359 - Monday 23 November 2009 21:10

rofl i just got rickrolled :x

Reply

plzdunstpdamusic | 0

#689067 - Thursday 26 November 2009 11:49

The video is on private.

Reply

rcbarnes | 24

#4112742 - Friday 2 March 2012 3:33

Video link's dead. :-(

By lithiumflower | 0

#682972 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:22

Could've been worse -- at least you had a bra on!

Reply

_anonymoose_ | 0

#682974 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:25

true

Reply

FalseInsight | 6

#4187724 - Monday 19 March 2012 21:04

*video* or it didn't happen

By Iliaria | 0

#682983 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:28

Let's hope you weren't wearing a lacy type bra to dance class. Since you need support, I'd be wearing a sports bra or at least one that's not see-through. And in that case, so what? If you were in your bikini top on camera, would you mind?

By allmidnighteyes | 10

#682986 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:30

You could've just worn a looser fitting outer shirt...

By allisha | 7

#682991 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:35

well you would think you would see that as a good thing, unless your out of shape..which I would doubt since your in dance in the first place

By shootingstar8D | 0

#683007 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:47

ohh crapp..... lets hope you have a nice rack!

By Erranty | 0

#683021 - Sunday 22 November 2009 9:58

I don't see a problem with this as long as you've got a good body. And since you're a dancer, you probably do.

Reply

renaet | 0

#683537 - Sunday 22 November 2009 19:53

Eh. The girls on our dance team at my school don't always have the best bodies. Dancing and being a fat ass don't always have a connection.

Reply

jdawg2010 | 0

#3615510 - Monday 21 November 2011 17:28

Wow...

Reply

Killuhk | 8

#4525449 - Tuesday 5 June 2012 8:59

Seriously 33? Lol all the girls on my team in hs were skinny as hell, I sadly, would be considered the "fattest" one....and i'm in great shape

Reply

T1A2Z3 | 34

#7598905 - Wednesday 14 February 2018 14:06

Just because someone has a nice body doesn't mean they want to show it to an entire audience plus whoever buys the tape...

By cerebellum_fml | 0

#683030 - Sunday 22 November 2009 10:09

Well get something after it?
at least they didnt say eww
some guys must have been disappointed that you stopped

By Snowlight_fml | 7

#683046 - Sunday 22 November 2009 10:40

At least you didn't swipe your bra of as well

By loninessYman | 0

#683073 - Sunday 22 November 2009 11:34

send the video to me , or give me the photo ,please!
thanks!

Reply

cheerloveyou | 0

#2306770 - Thursday 7 April 2011 3:37

pervert much?!

Reply

whorerhorror | 6

#3316348 - Tuesday 20 September 2011 11:46

immature much?! that quote is so cliche with little girls, it's annoying