Kids: Today, I woke up to several dead snails and worms all over my...

By Anonymous - 29/12/2015 17:29 - United States - Charleston

Today, I woke up to several dead snails and worms all over my bed. I guess that's what my little sister meant yesterday when she said I'd be sorry for not letting her play on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 376

You deserved it 2 203

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Same thing different taste

By liilii - 30/08/2014 16:40 - India - Trivandrum

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 700

You deserved it 6 700

By poop - 03/04/2013 18:45

Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 899

You deserved it 6 617

By somerandomchick - 31/03/2009 05:32 - United States

Today, my little sister got mad at me because I wouldn't let her read my IM conversation. I took a nap and when I woke up, my laptop was gone. She took it on a trip to her grandparents' house, six hours away. Nude pictures of me and my paper due tomorrow are on the laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 931

You deserved it 30 494

By Quincy_Ethan - 29/08/2014 21:22 - United States - Killeen

Today, my little sister was using my phone to play games. About an hour later, she came to me and said my phone wouldn't work. Turns out my phone had gotten hot and she put it in water to cool it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 205

You deserved it 5 352

By toothfairy - 26/06/2009 14:20 - United Kingdom

Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 710

You deserved it 2 982

Overbearing girlfriend

By Jake - 16/09/2013 19:08 - United States - Albany

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 475

You deserved it 8 259

Keep them to yourself, buddy

By minder97 - 17/10/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my sister had a friend for a sleepover. They filmed a video in which the friend was lying in my bed, singing. An hour after the girl went home, her parents called. She has lice, and had brought them to our house unknowingly. I can see each and every individual larva on my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 786

You deserved it 2 718

YAAAAAAAAAAAASS

By shat - 12/12/2015 07:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 986

You deserved it 2 502

By slugitha - 16/03/2016 10:23 - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 434

You deserved it 1 858

By vomitingnow - 22/07/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 221

You deserved it 6 934

RodzillaX 30

Wednesday 30 December 2015 0:16

She seems very down to Earth.

Guy1009 15

Wednesday 30 December 2015 0:18

Nothing to do now but clean up and tell your parents. Be glad she used dead snails and worms, not live ones.

Comments

RodzillaX 30

Wednesday 30 December 2015 0:16

She seems very down to Earth.

gummehbewr 19

Wednesday 30 December 2015 0:17

Do the same to her and see how she feels. Sorry that happened OP

theoldman 22

Wednesday 30 December 2015 6:07

2 wrongs don't make a right.

Jason89 16

Wednesday 30 December 2015 19:47

@#46 ... but 2 "rights" make an airplane

exos_blackpearl 10

Friday 1 January 2016 21:59

A negative plus a negative equals a positive

Tori_belle 18

Wednesday 30 December 2015 0:17

Get her back by dipping her Barbie dolls hair in syrup and let them attract ants? xD

Zaizun 11

Friday 1 January 2016 2:32

She probably just has electronics :p

Guy1009 15

Wednesday 30 December 2015 0:18

Nothing to do now but clean up and tell your parents. Be glad she used dead snails and worms, not live ones.

PencilTips 19

Wednesday 30 December 2015 18:40

I thought she put live ones and she killed them in her sleep by crushing them... your idea makes it much less disgusting.

Zilten 10

Wednesday 30 December 2015 21:19

Dead ones are much worse than alive ones

nodeathtoall 19

Wednesday 30 December 2015 0:20

Put live worms in hers She'll think she'll get them all until the middle of the night when they start crawling all over

geekpower_fml 28

Wednesday 30 December 2015 0:22

Meh. I can think of worse things. But for now, tell your parents and make sure they ground her for a long time, I guess.

MsConfusedd 27

Wednesday 30 December 2015 0:22

That shit's very serious. Best let her play on your phone next time or she might get even more extreme revenge, like live critters this time!

LucasKerr 12

Thursday 31 December 2015 21:47

I agree

IAm123 24

Wednesday 30 December 2015 0:26

Reminds me of my sister.

Sxylilhalfpint 20

Wednesday 30 December 2015 0:28

well..... are you sorry now?

twilight2002 17

Wednesday 30 December 2015 0:28

your sister is epic lol

angelnursery 18

Wednesday 30 December 2015 3:10

More like bratty* :P

sweetbliss3 37

Wednesday 30 December 2015 4:43

more like needs an ass beating.

Ava_Darkflame 26

Friday 1 January 2016 19:14

Her sister's a bitch.

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 3 777

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, I ate 30 chocolate pocket brownies, two caramel chocolates, two Budweisers. All of that while on my breaks at work. I'm a guy and I'm worried about getting diabetes while i'm actually craving more chocolate and sugar treats, my body is getting weaker, I'm getting dumber, fatter, and slower as we speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 1 195

Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 144

You deserved it 2 839

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 887

You deserved it 8 992

Today, I learned that my dad invested my entire college fund into some shady internet stock, despite my dire warnings about being careful. He told me not to worry as he'd done some research, and he guaranteed everything would be fine. Two hours later that same stock dropped almost 75%. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 059

You deserved it 430

Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 723

You deserved it 10 589

Today, I thought I’d preheat the car so I wouldn’t have to scrape the ice off the windshield and could start driving in a toasty vehicle. Turns out it’s a bit difficult to flip a switch on the dashboard of a car with the doors frozen shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 156

Same thing different taste

Overbearing girlfriend

Keep them to yourself, buddy

YAAAAAAAAAAAASS

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