By SeriousJoker72 - Canada - Winnipeg Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML I agree, your life sucks 41784 You deserved it 3508 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share SeriousJoker72 tells us more : Hahahahaha! Maybe I'll make that my Halloween costume!
By Anonymous - United States Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML I agree, your life sucks 36711 You deserved it 8918 149 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KayleeXLoVe21 - United States Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML I agree, your life sucks 38785 You deserved it 9679 184 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Dayton Today, I found my daughter sobbing and trying to stick a wad of gauze to her vagina. She was having her first period. FML I agree, your life sucks 26237 You deserved it 11275 185 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hockusa3 - United States - Silver Spring Today, I was driving to the DMV to take a test, after getting some points removed from my license. On the way there, I got a speeding ticket and got my license suspended completely. FML I agree, your life sucks 19420 You deserved it 52568 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Winnipeg Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML I agree, your life sucks 54669 You deserved it 16460 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Bowling Green Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML I agree, your life sucks 30995 You deserved it 2413 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tbree - United States - San Francisco Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML I agree, your life sucks 44909 You deserved it 4449 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CatLady Today, I was having dinner at a restaurant with my best friend and her 18-month-old. I really had to fart, so I let one go silently, hoping it would go unnoticed. I caught a whiff of it, but so did my friend apparently, because she made a face and then held up her baby to smell her diaper. FML I agree, your life sucks 3425 You deserved it 1302 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jb100 - United States - Perryville Today, as I was working at a bakery, a woman stormed in, cut in front of the line, and began yelling at me. She claimed I didn't give her a sandwich earlier and demanded a refund. She got the refund out of my paycheck, and as she was leaving she muttered, "Ha, works every time." FML I agree, your life sucks 31080 You deserved it 2180 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Merry F-ing birthmas - 20/12/2020 11:01 - Australia - Brisbane They targeted gamers! Today, as he has all day for the last 3 days, my husband has been playing Cyberpunk 2077. However, it's my birthday. When I mentioned this fact, I was told to just walk the 4 miles to the store and buy a cake, "if it matters so much." I have celiac and he spent our grocery money on the game. FML I agree, your life sucks 1521 You deserved it 316 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML I agree, your life sucks 4588 You deserved it 732 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I went into work with the mentality that all of my ass-busting work was going to result in me finally being promoted to manager. We had a site meeting. The entire building is being laid off because Apple cut our contract. Yay, I'm out of a job. I hate Apple. FML I agree, your life sucks 1990 You deserved it 205 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wow - United States Today, my virgin girlfriend who wanted to lose her virginity to me got on Google, and quizzed me on how to properly put on a condom. She doesn't trust me. FML I agree, your life sucks 30018 You deserved it 8837 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Romantic mood Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuck buddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML I agree, your life sucks 2030 You deserved it 179 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I found out that my wife of 5 years has decided to change everything: job, clothes, hair style, car, and me. FML I agree, your life sucks 35146 You deserved it 3043 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BooBabe - United States - Denver Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML I agree, your life sucks 34828 You deserved it 6782 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I noticed a disgusting odor that seemed to be radiating off my brother. When I asked him about it, he replied, "I think it's ball sweat. I haven't had a shower in a few weeks, so it's hard to tell." FML I agree, your life sucks 44212 You deserved it 4113 204 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML I agree, your life sucks 44764 You deserved it 3181 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blah! - 13/12/2020 14:01 Unionize Today, I found out I'm pregnant, after quitting my job because they asked us to work for free due to COVID. So because I quit, I'm no longer eligible for maternity leave. I didn’t know that I was 4 months pregnant. I could've just gotten a doctor's note for medical reasons. FML I agree, your life sucks 897 You deserved it 400 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/3/2020 17:00 Run for the hills! Today, my girlfriend asked me the details for al-Qaeda's plan during 9/11 for an essay. I had no idea and she said she just expected me to know, since I'm "one of those people." I'm Iranian. FML I agree, your life sucks 2031 You deserved it 214 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tigerbyrn - Canada - Scarborough Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML I agree, your life sucks 18885 You deserved it 2049 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Christmas pictures Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, wearing just a Santa hat. FML I agree, your life sucks 2740 You deserved it 290 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I stretched really hard when I woke up, only to feel something twang. This was followed by a really sharp pain. Thinking I'd given myself a hernia, I got up to check myself in the mirror, and was repulsed by the bulge I saw hanging out of my gut. Then I realised it was just my own flab. FML I agree, your life sucks 11037 You deserved it 40415 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By divineinstrument - United Kingdom Today, I spent hours and hours trying to figure out why the wireless internet on my laptop wasn't working, but everything I tried completely failed. At the end of the day, my older brother came home, and fixed the problem in under 10 seconds by turning the wireless internet switch on. FML I agree, your life sucks 10570 You deserved it 58282 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Regina - United States Today, I got a job selling knives. I had training for 11 hours. At the end of the training session, the instructor promptly informed everyone that they had to pay $145 for a set of demo knives. I paid the $145. I went home and learned that it was a scam. I went back for a refund. They said no. FML I agree, your life sucks 16373 You deserved it 55424 434 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mickymoose1 - 19/7/2020 02:02 Stinky Today, my dog decided to play with a skunk. Today is also the day I figured out that no matter how much you wash everything that's come in contact with the smell, it will never go away. FML I agree, your life sucks 1277 You deserved it 122 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Missedtheboat - United States Today, I finished making an awesome costume for a Halloween party my crush was attending. I then checked the invite and found out the party was last night. FML I agree, your life sucks 13641 You deserved it 32506 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By YoshiSqu4d Today, my father told me I was becoming violent because of the video games I play. I was playing Minecraft. FML I agree, your life sucks 1631 You deserved it 190 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UniverseHatesMe - United States - Cuyahoga Falls Today, my neighbor kindly set off a bed bug fogger rather than getting an exterminator, which we'd even offered to help him pay for. We have baseboard heating in our condo building. Guess where the parasites crawled to now. FML I agree, your life sucks 12892 You deserved it 821 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nuttree - United States Today, I noticed my husband chews his tongue while we are having it off. He also does this while he is playing World of Warcraft. FML I agree, your life sucks 30312 You deserved it 6856 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I was eating jell-o and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML I agree, your life sucks 12486 You deserved it 67799 695 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By le_evan - United States - Los Angeles Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML I agree, your life sucks 36271 You deserved it 6652 186 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By movingbuddy - Australia - Sydney Today, my boyfriend of a year asked me to move in with him. I would have been touched at this gesture, had he not asked in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kicked out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML I agree, your life sucks 33923 You deserved it 3952 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JFC! - United States AAA, hello? Today, I was forced to look on in utter horror as an old lady backed out of her parking space, kept going well past the turning point, and slammed straight into my car, putting a dent in the front and shattering the headlights. FML I agree, your life sucks 30574 You deserved it 3082 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 25380 You deserved it 5779 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eewww - United Kingdom Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML I agree, your life sucks 38693 You deserved it 3687 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I got my first university math midterm back. I did so bad that my teacher put a sadface on the first page. FML I agree, your life sucks 27563 You deserved it 11307 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cuppycake - Canada Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML I agree, your life sucks 11752 You deserved it 89396 278 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fred - Japan Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML I agree, your life sucks 29430 You deserved it 10326 164 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tristan - 30/7/2020 02:01 Send message Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML I agree, your life sucks 1195 You deserved it 304 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By darwinism | 30 #6086796 - Saturday 11 October 2014 12:02 Playing games helps to lift your mood. I suggest "connect the dots". FYL Send a private message 143 2 Reply
By logic368 | 8 #6086795 - Saturday 11 October 2014 12:02 At least it's in the right angle for your face... Send a private message 128 4 Reply
By logic368 | 8 #6086795 - Saturday 11 October 2014 12:02 At least it's in the right angle for your face... Send a private message 128 4 Reply
Reply possy | 19 #6086953 - Saturday 11 October 2014 16:54 Left turns only!! Send a private message 13 2 Reply
Reply wolfgold2 | 20 #6087446 - Sunday 12 October 2014 8:55 someBODY ONCE TOLD ME Send a private message 6 2 Reply
Reply James_is_Mexican | 25 #6088743 - Monday 13 October 2014 19:54 Luigi! :D Send a private message 3 0 Reply
By darwinism | 30 #6086796 - Saturday 11 October 2014 12:02 Playing games helps to lift your mood. I suggest "connect the dots". FYL Send a private message 143 2 Reply
By Pleonasm | 34 #6086797 - Saturday 11 October 2014 12:03 L for love! Send a private message 98 3 Reply
Reply klaudia_ | 14 #6086805 - Saturday 11 October 2014 12:12 L is for Loser Send a private message 14 61 Reply
Reply iSativa | 24 #6086829 - Saturday 11 October 2014 13:10 Someone has never seen Dodgeball. Like seriously, what are you doing with your life? Send a private message 32 3 Reply
Reply RussRuss | 7 #6086888 - Saturday 11 October 2014 15:04 They're not watching Dodgeball we know that Send a private message 24 2 Reply
Reply mannatee | 19 #6087045 - Saturday 11 October 2014 20:06 Pff, L is for luigi. Send a private message 25 4 Reply
By False_Stupidity | 41 #6086798 - Saturday 11 October 2014 12:04 Hey, at least your acne knows how to spell, or knows one letter at least. Keep checking to see if other letters form! On the other hand it could be the start of some beautiful acne art. Send a private message 69 6 Reply
Reply thevelociraptor | 31 #6086835 - Saturday 11 October 2014 13:15 Your spirits are uplifting, but acne is not something people usually admire and/or buy. Send a private message 33 7 Reply
Reply False_Stupidity | 41 #6087087 - Saturday 11 October 2014 21:15 You never know, acne art could be the next weird craze. Send a private message 11 3 Reply
By Noah197099 | 17 #6086802 - Saturday 11 October 2014 12:09 I think your body is trying to tell you something. Send a private message 60 1 Reply
By laalaleslie | 13 #6086808 - Saturday 11 October 2014 12:20 Well, the "L" certainly doesn't stand for "lucky"... Send a private message 81 1 Reply
By Earths_Venus | 25 #6086813 - Saturday 11 October 2014 12:31 It's time for a haircut that hides your forehead... Send a private message 25 1 Reply
Reply mikepzz | 27 #6086840 - Saturday 11 October 2014 13:28 So I guess that's more if a non haircut really.. Send a private message 17 5 Reply
Reply chinaski7628 | 32 #6087069 - Saturday 11 October 2014 20:44 Or a haircut with bangs.... Send a private message 8 1 Reply
By OnlyAvailableID | 28 #6086817 - Saturday 11 October 2014 12:39 Smashmouth was wrong. It wasn't her finger and her thumb that was in the shape of an 'L' on her forehead. Send a private message 61 2 Reply
Reply OnlyAvailableID | 28 #6086820 - Saturday 11 October 2014 12:43 She still looks kinda dumb however. Send a private message 22 1 Reply
Reply Kyle1dc | 17 #6086928 - Saturday 11 October 2014 16:11 hey now, your a rock star for saying that. Send a private message 8 10 Reply
Reply fivetimeslonger | 24 #6087277 - Sunday 12 October 2014 3:22 That song was the first thing I thought of, too! Send a private message 10 1 Reply
By PanTheMighty | 5 #6086832 - Saturday 11 October 2014 13:12 Did anyone call you Luigi? Send a private message 18 2 Reply
By Mauskau | 35 #6086851 - Saturday 11 October 2014 13:43 Mine has recently decided to just appear in a straight line across my face, like symmetrical spots. :( Send a private message 4 4 Reply
Today, I went back home after a break with my live-in boyfriend. I had to spend some time at my distant father's place in another city until we talked... I agree, your life sucks 229 You deserved it 45 4 Comments
Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML I agree, your life sucks 279 You deserved it 29 3 Comments