Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to throw pebbles at my bedroom window in the middle of the night. It triggered the burglar alarm, which woke up everyone in the house. If my parents didn't know I had a boyfriend before, they certainly do now. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to climb up to my third story window in the early hours of the morning. Just before he got to the top, he slipped and fell to the ground. My dad had to drive him to the hospital at 3am. FML
Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML
Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
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Top comments
Kashaqueetrah 12
Why didn't you notice it was your boyfriend though?
BntyHntrSeattle 30
BUT MOM, IF I FORGOT HE WAS HERE THEN HE WASN'T HERE.
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Comments (105)
ABillOnFire 15
I understand, when I wake up it takes me like 2 minutes to actually wake up once I've gotten out of bed, if anyone speaks to me in those two minutes I just talk jibberish and have no idea what's going on
KevinFlynn 13
epic fail
DocBastard 40
And this is EXACTLY why my daughter's windows are connected to our alarm system. No really, they actually are. And this is actually why.
Lost_Ghost 8
I would do the exact same thing if I had kids, Doc! Good Man!
perdix 31
A stranger is your "boyfriend?" You could have relaxed if you had duct-taped him securely enough.
Lost_Ghost 8
Rope is better IMO! :)
rety1 13
Wow if you're that stupid then for the sake of humanity, dump that guy and go join a convent.
Ellamore 13
You Deserved It, OP. Next time try not to scream! :-)
NavalAvaiations1 5
OP, if I had a daughter scream in the middle of the night then I saw a man in her bed... I'd shoot him! you are lucky you didn't get him killed.
ladybuglet 22
How inconsiderate. You are living with your parents and you sneak your boyfriend in. It isn't your house. If you want a guest for the night, you should be asking your parents first.
kiwifruitred 18
Who the hell does not recognize their own boyfriend??
BrookRae 19
Clearly OP.
iriss_fml 12
Exactly ..
LittlestPrincess 21
and a bunch of OP's from previous fml's :)
KBurns207 17
Wow how drunk were you. YDI big time.