Animals, Kids and Drugs: Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to...

By marymark - 13/04/2012 01:02 - United States - West Long Branch

Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 115

You deserved it 38 986

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By ashleyramsay - 23/10/2009 19:13 - Canada

Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 691

You deserved it 11 802

By Fucked - 16/01/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 552

You deserved it 40 815

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 14:49 - United States

Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 689

You deserved it 3 166

Bad news

By Anonymous - 01/08/2020 20:01

Today, I knew it was going to be a fun day when I woke up to find that my kids' new puppy had died in the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 881

You deserved it 116

By jrad - 08/09/2010 19:23 - United States

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 829

You deserved it 3 546

Priorities

By natashamilan - 26/02/2015 01:43 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I was at a friend's birthday party when I got a call from my mom telling me to come home because my dog died. When I told my friend that I had to leave because of the loss, she replied with, "Okay, but you brought my gift inside, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 716

You deserved it 2 824

By Urinator - 16/09/2015 18:26 - United Kingdom - Inchture

Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 734

You deserved it 1 911

By anonya - 28/08/2012 04:43 - United States - Madera

Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 892

You deserved it 3 092

By Anne - 14/02/2012 20:50 - United States

Today, I returned home from college for the first time in a month. I went to my bedroom and found a nice gift bag on my dresser. Thinking it was a Valentine's gift, I opened it. My dog's ashes were in a tin inside. This is how I found out my dog died since I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 407

You deserved it 2 367

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 05:40 - Egypt

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 675

You deserved it 4 325

breeY0 7

Friday 13 April 2012 8:43

why would you leave your weed out in the first place !

K_kanaka 26

Friday 13 April 2012 8:41

Sooooooooooo how long are you grounded for?

Comments

doglover100 28

Monday 7 April 2014 3:38

Have you never seen movies? You never admit to something until you know what the other person is talking about.

The_Markinator 5

Friday 15 August 2014 16:20

silence is golden. never admit to anything until confronted about it.

ilanie04 16

Tuesday 12 May 2015 6:28

not angry that you have weed I'm angry on how dumb that if to leave it out in the open

Rectov 10

Wednesday 12 August 2015 20:12

Nice job. At least you told the truth when you thought they already knew, right?

Mr_Misteerious 9

Saturday 19 September 2015 13:27

NEVER. EVER. EVER. EVER. CONFESS QUICKLY. That is what growing up with strict parents taught me

fantasyworld 37

Monday 19 October 2015 22:49

You never come clean until you know what the person is talking about.

elizacandle 29

Wednesday 13 April 2016 0:49

never confess preemptively

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 280

You deserved it 49 811

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 74

The Top

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 485

You deserved it 39 857

Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 396

You deserved it 6 645

Today, I found an upside to being morbidly obese. My partner got a flat tyre, and the bolts had rusted tight, making it impossible for him to turn the wrench. I had to put my substantial weight behind it, and in the end we managed to get them all off by me jumping on the wrench each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 434

Today, I attended a formal dinner with donors to my university. While looking at a much older lady's nametag to see who she was, I was publicly accused of looking at her breasts. Now a bunch of people I was supposed to impress think I'm a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 054

You deserved it 649

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 40 560

Today, my husband said he wouldn't be talking to me for weeks, because I didn't buy him weed. Yeah, I paid all the bills and the rent this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 191

Same thing different taste

Bad news

Priorities

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