FML for mobile
Free

Open in app
FMyLife
Kingspin Canada

Today, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, the smell of bacon in a frying pan, and some dickhead trying to pick the lock on my front door. FML

162

Kingspin tells us more.

Kingspin 0

...How would I explain the third degree burns and traces of bacon grease? And he ran off luckily.

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Top comments

UTTU 0

Let him go to sleep hearing the sound of a 12 gauge.

underpaid011 0

open the door then splash the very hot bacon grease on the asshole. then say "pick that mother ******" and for good measure kick him square in the sack, then in the face and ribs. then call the cops. don't forget to say "i was terrified!! I thought the guy was going to break in and kill me!!". blame the face and rib injuries on him "falling down".

Add a comment · Reply to

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Sign in Create my account

Comments (162)

shanemayhem 1

Well, two out of three ain't bad.

emtae6307 4

I would have thrown the bacon greese on him

Evan318 0

I would to if I smelt that bacon hahah

lifesosux 0

did you stop the guy pickin ur lock?!?!?!

imlifeless2 25

Step one: get 9mm out of your end-table. Step 2: Wait patiently at the front door. Step 3: (when the door opens) Say a clever catchphrase, and shoot the crap out of him.

The_9th_Doctor 18

did you beat him with a bat?

Jennaflamingo 14

Well he probably wanted some bacon (;

Mabonga 12

what was in that bacon?!