Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML
Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML
Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML
Today, I took my kids to the beach. My autistic son decided it was a good idea to pretend he was drowning. I tried to tell onlookers he was fine and not to worry. My son popped out of the water and laughed hysterically at them. FML
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Top comments
hungarian93 0
why wuld u ground them. then let them play more? makes no sense. bad parenting. ydi
Sportsfan86 3
kids: 1 you: 0
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Comments (212)
DevianceIsBliss 0
Your grammar is too funny.
gigilvrs6 0
Yeah how did you not notice your boobs were falling out of your bikini?
Fortuitous 0
Oh, I know, Bloody Gore. ;)
hockey1421 0
Op means original post
abudali911 3
so you grounded your kids because they got in a fight? you probly don't even mean a real fight it was probly just an argument YDI
Absocold 0
#2, you got it wrong. it should be: kids 2, you 0.
Sparx1_1 16
grounded means "pack your shit because the grounding starts now" Letting them stay at the park just teaches them that they don't need to respect you - ever. No matter how mad my kids got at me they never once did anything that nasty. Let me also take a wild guess - you had already decided that if they did behave you'd let them off the grounding "a little early" as in the very next day. YDI for being a bad parent.
MeganCello 8
@#140, I live in Colorado. Not a single indoor waterpark. Though we do have Water World in Denver. But that's a terrible place to go in November. Eh, that's not too bad. Because if you were on vacation you'll never see those people again.
sinnedrebel 0
huh huh you said boobs.
Chazy2010 8
how old are you?