Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to the orthodontist. The lady took a break and went to use the restroom. Apparently she didn't bother to take her gloves off, and they smelled like straight up pee. She had her hands in my mouth for over an hour. FML
Today, while my orthodontist was working on my teeth, she made the comment, "Wow! It looks like a murder scene in there!" FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, I was at dentist to get impressions made. The hygienist put way too much of the plaster stuff on the press. She put it in my mouth and asked if I was okay, I shook my head no and promptly vomited. It sat at the back of my throat and I could not spit it out until the plaster hardened. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine check-up, and halfway through the appointment, the dentist exclaimed, "Oops!" Turns out, he accidentally glued my lips together while fixing a tiny chip in my front tooth. I spent the next two hours communicating through exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She had a tool that sucks up saliva, and put it in my mouth. She told me to close my mouth, and I did. Turns out she forgot to turn it on, causing my saliva to go all over my face. I had to sit like that for the rest of the visit. FML
Today, I went to the orthodontist. No biggie, of course. I know the drill, so I didn’t think twice before letting the doctor stick his gloved hands into my mouth. His warm, wet, gloved hands. What the fuck??? FML
Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML
Today, at the orthodontist, the nurse was checking my teeth. She asked me a question while her finger was in my mouth, and when I stupidly tried to reply, I bit her finger. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea YAYY PEPTO BISMOL! :D
allmidnighteyes 11
OP, I'm assuming you posted this FML from the bathroom, as a putrid school of dung guppies launched themselves from the claustrophobic confines of your colon like a civil war cannonball.... am I correct?
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Comments (46)
margie4peace 11
The stomach is at the top of the intestinal tract. The large intestine is what produces diarrhea. They are NOT the same things. OP has every reason to be upset.
bayybee 0
i highly doubt she meant literally your stomach hurt. People tend to say they have a stomach ache when their intestines are bothering them. Take a look at the real world, not everything is taken literally.
Darling_Cherry 5
WTF, did you swallow the entire amount used on your mouth?
maddog_fml 0
Hahaha! Nice one dude! Hahaha!
Cuckoo_Rotchya 1
Orthodontists aren't known to specialise in your digestive tract, just what goes in it, haha.
RNCftw 0
well an upset stomach usually means you need to take a dump. the crapping your pants part seems to be your fault.
lynzykins 0
why are you so quick to blame the cleaning solution for you crapping your pants?
kellster 2
An upset stomach means potential diarrhea or vomiting to me. FYL for not knowing something that pretty much everyone knows, dude. And yes. The crapping your pants part WAS your fault.
scateice 0
You sound like my 60 year old English teacher
durtypickle 0
lol 35 *high fives*
meme3 0
You shat your pants, game over!
Synnie 0
Crap, I was so sure I typed /pull pants down I guess I didn't sit on the toilet fast enough...
Polygon 0
well, diarrhea is the body's mechanism for getting rid of stuff thats bad for it, which is why when you are sick you throw up / diarrhea a lot, your body is trying to flush the bad stuff out of your body. So it sounds logical that swallowing something that most likely was not meant to be swallowed lead to your body freaking out and trying to get rid of it...but that still sucks dude. Hope it wasn't too public =/