Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the orthodontist. The lady took a break and went to use the restroom. Apparently she didn't bother to take her gloves off, and they smelled like straight up pee. She had her hands in my mouth for over an hour. FML
Today, while my orthodontist was working on my teeth, she made the comment, "Wow! It looks like a murder scene in there!" FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, I was at dentist to get impressions made. The hygienist put way too much of the plaster stuff on the press. She put it in my mouth and asked if I was okay, I shook my head no and promptly vomited. It sat at the back of my throat and I could not spit it out until the plaster hardened. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine check-up, and halfway through the appointment, the dentist exclaimed, "Oops!" Turns out, he accidentally glued my lips together while fixing a tiny chip in my front tooth. I spent the next two hours communicating through exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She had a tool that sucks up saliva, and put it in my mouth. She told me to close my mouth, and I did. Turns out she forgot to turn it on, causing my saliva to go all over my face. I had to sit like that for the rest of the visit. FML
Today, I went to the orthodontist. No biggie, of course. I know the drill, so I didn’t think twice before letting the doctor stick his gloved hands into my mouth. His warm, wet, gloved hands. What the fuck??? FML
Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML
Today, at the orthodontist, the nurse was checking my teeth. She asked me a question while her finger was in my mouth, and when I stupidly tried to reply, I bit her finger. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea YAYY PEPTO BISMOL! :D
allmidnighteyes 11
OP, I'm assuming you posted this FML from the bathroom, as a putrid school of dung guppies launched themselves from the claustrophobic confines of your colon like a civil war cannonball.... am I correct?
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Comments (46)
KennyP55 0
Have you ever had uncontrollable ***** when your stomach was happy? Also, do you know how to tell someone that you have to go to the shitter before you explode?
kerrygirl 13
thanks #4
DoomJeff91 2
Ah... Thank God for time travel.
TheBeardOfZeus 0
lol! ur othodontist clearly didnt give u enuf warning....how embarassing!
1dream_fml 0
HAHAHAHA, sexy
krisxing 1
If it makes you feel better, the word in Korean for "anemia" is the same word as "dizzy" so when I tell people I have anemia they tell me that if I stop drinking the dizziness will go away. I drink like once every two weeks ^^;;
IronWarrior 9
Orthodontists deal with teeth and mouths so it is understandable that they don't know the difference, it's all too far south for them. For those of you who can't tell and go off on how stupid I sound, I'm actually not serious. Sometimes people do what is called "joking" in which they make a comment that may or may NOT be entirely true to cause a reaction, generally laughter. You should try it sometime. Seriously.
f_alltheirlives 3
You do sound stupid! A bad joke combined with a preemptive defence of all jokes / attack on those that are not retarded enough to catch our sense of humour... You come off as quite paranoid :O
shananigans 0
...Wow, you sound way too defensive. Kind of ruined your joke.
IronWarrior 9
Oh people, that's the best you can come up with? Most of my posts are intended to cause quarrels for personal entertainment. If all you've got is "no YOU sound stupid" then I'm wasting my time.
f_alltheirlives 3
If you intented to cause quarrel then why explain the bad joke? You make no sense, nor laughter... Try again
Nybie 0
I had braces for 5 years, and they never once put anything in my mouth that once swallowed could cause illness.. upset stomach or otherwise, at least not in the small amounts that they use. Hmm...
cs68507 0
Yeah and you probably take tylenol with no issues and I immediately get a stomach ache and throw up. Not everyone is the same. This is clearly indicated by people who are photosensitive. Not many people burn when they go out in the sun. However, it is also not expected to be caught by the orthodontist considering it was a rare instance. At least the next person might find out before they crap their pants. Way to take one for the team!!!
marrajane 0
Upset stomachs can result in diarrhea moron. But agreed with #18.
Blithe_626 0
its wat u get for being such a fat ass and trying to eat everything.... nahhh jokes but yea tht sucks.
baby610 4
Douche
ObadiahtheSlim 2
Upset stomach can lead to diarrhea.