By Anonymous - United States - Madison

Breaking news: bratwurst mayhem!

Today, having forgotten my knife at home, I nervously took a bite of my cheesy brat at work. It didn’t splatter on my clothes like I worried it would, but it did splatter all over my desk, keyboard, computer screen, and paperwork. I can't get the cheese out from under the keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4863

You deserved it

2308

Tweet

Share

sarcasmismyno1 tells us more :

OP here. It happened. No apologies, lesson learned. Welcome to WI life. It's different up here, ya know.

Cold-blooded old times

You can't win sometimes

Social distancing

By Anonymous - 30/6/2020 02:02

Helping hand

Today, its been so long since I've been single, I’ve reached the age where I need Viagra just to masturbate since there’s no woman in my life to save the pills for. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1382

You deserved it

258

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Perth

Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won't accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32381

You deserved it

2316

Tweet

Share

By Jumanji - France

Today, I opened my laptop in the train to watch a good film I had downloaded. Of course, it was a fake and the whole carriage was allowed to watch and hear five seconds of butt licking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21891

You deserved it

11927

Tweet

Share

By organizse - United States - San Antonio

Today, I went to a job interview, and my father in law's house. As soon as I got home I went to the bathroom and noticed my bloody pantyliner had fallen out at one of these places. I don't know which one is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26556

You deserved it

2799

Tweet

Share

By thanks iphone - United States - Louisville

Today, I realized I wasn't getting notifications for my voicemail, so I decided to check it and found out that I had 3 job offerings that are no longer an option. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22972

You deserved it

3723

Tweet

Share

By Just Lonely - United States - La Place

Today, after not hanging out with anyone the whole year, a guy finally asked me to go the movies with him. When I asked what time, he said, "Never mind, I found another girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks

14483

You deserved it

963

Tweet

Share

By bummed

Today, my family and I went on a hike to a local abandoned gold mine, with the hopes of being able to explore the caves. What we didn't expect was four miles of treacherous, rocky, near vertical trails that led to the mine. Once we finally got there, exhausted, it was blocked off for safety reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35724

You deserved it

12254

Tweet

Share

By Melie-Melo - United Kingdom

Today, after repairing the toilet, the light, the shower, the cooker and the heater in the flat I've just moved into, my boiler dies. It's mid December, about 1 degree outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26016

You deserved it

2117

Tweet

Share

By foshizzle - United States - Orlando

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26881

You deserved it

3157

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - De Soto

Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him. I realized he was drunk when he slurred, "Ya know, you're the only girl I've met that's fat AND flat chested!" There goes my self-esteem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21110

You deserved it

2233

Tweet

Share

By grossed out - Australia - Melbourne

Today, whilst in a dressing room trying on some new clothes, I experienced the sheer terror of having someone fling a pair of dirty panties over the stall wall only to make off with some stolen ones, whilst you're still standing there in shock staring at another woman's dirty underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13950

You deserved it

1213

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45384

You deserved it

8271

Tweet

Share

By nanall - United States

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32103

You deserved it

4486

Tweet

Share

By lovewedge - United States

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

I agree, your life sucks

72859

You deserved it

23477

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into Jamba Juice like I do every day. I decided to order something different than I usually do, and was flattered when the cashier recognized me. Then he switched places with another employee, and from the back room I hear "Hey, ugly's back again." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32974

You deserved it

3112

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

I agree, your life sucks

38279

You deserved it

10403

Tweet

Share

By 50love - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. After he did, he walked over to his friends. I saw him tell them that he broke up with me. After he finished all of them cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33835

You deserved it

8083

Tweet

Share

By Justaddwater - France

Today, I spent an hour and a half trying to rid my house of smoke and burnt plastic smell because my little sister didn't know she was supposed to add water in the package of microwaveable mac and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25453

You deserved it

3216

Tweet

Share

By lily - United States

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. As I was getting off an old man whistled at me, I told him to go to hell and got off the bus. When the bus drove away the old man stood in the back of the bus, holding up the wallet I left that he was trying to give to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16417

You deserved it

134095

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was accepted to college and received a scholarship equal to almost half the tuition. After sharing this news with my parents, I spent the next 35 minutes getting yelled at about how I wasn't allowed to go there because my boyfriend might go there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40665

You deserved it

2472

Tweet

Share

By Arghh - United States

Today, I had an allergic reaction to cranberry juice. The only reason I was drinking cranberry juice was to help with a bladder infection. Now I'm covered in what looks like a rash and peeing constantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33813

You deserved it

3315

Tweet

Share

By nerderer - United States - Duluth

Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31793

You deserved it

3320

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/3/2020 08:09

Caring

Today, I was rummaging about in the pantry. When I turned to walk away, the heavy pantry door fell off, struck me in the back of the head, and the wood surrounding the doorknob cracked. When my mom came home, she accused me of "property damage." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1396

You deserved it

96

Tweet

Share

By neverthesame - United States - Shelbyville

Today, I realized that something's wrong when you have to go to a mental hospital for a family reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29404

You deserved it

2146

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32378

You deserved it

5063

Tweet

Share

By fulloshit - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35952

You deserved it

4566

Tweet

Share

By toothpastecat - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29535

You deserved it

8401

Tweet

Share

By datingamoron - United States

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28244

You deserved it

3960

Tweet

Share

By Adios Career - United States

Today, a great job I have been wanting to apply for opened for applications. Turns out it requires a clean background with no credit issues. I recently got a notice saying my wife and I are being sued over an unpaid $140 medical bill that she neglected to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24025

You deserved it

2138

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Mackay

Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

34830

You deserved it

5061

Tweet

Share

By bluebelle - Australia

Today, my boyfriend brought me a bunny for a house present for moving into our first house. She escaped her cage and bit through the electrical wires, cutting out all our power and electrocuting and killing herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29821

You deserved it

2785

Tweet

Share

By thatsucks

Today, I told my best friend that I liked him and have liked him for a long time. His response was "That's cool. So, when did you get a cat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

32034

You deserved it

4612

Tweet

Share

By sadbride - Bahamas - Nassau

Today, 60 guests for my wedding were supposed to arrive to the Bahamas. The first and only hurricane of the season decided to crash my wedding, stranding my mom, maid of honor and best man. No one will be able to attend my wedding, except the other drunken hotel guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25169

You deserved it

3609

Tweet

Share

By Pimp Daddy

Today, my husband put "sexual favors" on the memo line for my contractor's check. His wife saw it and he had to quit mid-job. I'm stuck with a half-finished house and my husband thinks it's funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5448

You deserved it

518

Tweet

Share

By oldtexas - United States

Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10234

You deserved it

67307

Tweet

Share

By Shelby - United States - Nokomis

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27840

You deserved it

17243

Tweet

Share

By kmb04 - Canada

Today, after a great night of sexual pleasure, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML

I agree, your life sucks

47742

You deserved it

33682

Tweet

Share

By baddriver - United States

Today, I went to the DMV to get my license. I almost ran over my evaluator as he was walking to get in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10970

You deserved it

24469

Tweet

Share

By BadBribe - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52951

You deserved it

30032

Tweet

Share

By stinkypants - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30693

You deserved it

11803

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By infinitemonkey | 21

#7400577 - Sunday 29 January 2017 18:03

This is the most Wisconsin FML ever.

By DraconicFeline | 31

#7400586 - Sunday 29 January 2017 18:10

If you were worried it would splatter, why would you choose to eat it anywhere near these things...?

COMMENTS

By infinitemonkey | 21

#7400577 - Sunday 29 January 2017 18:03

This is the most Wisconsin FML ever.

Reply

RichardPencil | 29

#7400608 - Sunday 29 January 2017 18:42

Ya, hey!

She'd have to have spattered her beer and her Aaron Rogers bobblehead to be more Wisconsin!

Reply

Bamidgey | 11

#7400637 - Sunday 29 January 2017 19:37

I'm from Wisconsin, and this is a daily problem.

By OhYouAreOffended | 11

#7400585 - Sunday 29 January 2017 18:10

I've never had a cheesy brat that cheesey before, but also I've never been to Wisconsin.

By DraconicFeline | 31

#7400586 - Sunday 29 January 2017 18:10

If you were worried it would splatter, why would you choose to eat it anywhere near these things...?

Reply

draftskink | 23

#7400626 - Sunday 29 January 2017 19:13

Thinking the same thing lol

Reply

LyricaSilvan | 29

#7400693 - Sunday 29 January 2017 20:52

It would seem some people only think things through about halfway.

Reply

Isabela O'Connor | 3

#7415121 - Thursday 23 February 2017 7:13

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By Bman54 | 19

#7400599 - Sunday 29 January 2017 18:24

What the heck is a cheesy brat?

Reply

InfiniteSunshine | 32

#7400615 - Sunday 29 January 2017 18:52

From what I understand, brat is short for bratwurst, which is a kind of sausage. So this would basically be a cheese filled sausage.

Reply

thehaystackerine | 20

#7400620 - Sunday 29 January 2017 19:02

heaven on a bun

Reply

becre8ve | 9

#7400634 - Sunday 29 January 2017 19:32

Cheese mixed in with the meat during the sausage making process

Reply

GreedyGreedo | 10

#7400712 - Sunday 29 January 2017 21:27

A brat with cheese in it...

Reply

GreedyGreedo | 10

#7400713 - Sunday 29 January 2017 21:27

A brat with cheese in it...

Reply

cootiequeen4444 | 11

#7401014 - Monday 30 January 2017 5:36

a spoiled child that likes to tell corny jokes and watch chick flicks. Cannibalism is bad, OP! >:(

By RichardPencil | 29

#7400600 - Sunday 29 January 2017 18:26

Don't worry, the mice will come and clean out that cheese for you.

By Solano2580 | 24

#7400696 - Sunday 29 January 2017 20:53

YDI. If you really needed to eat so close to your workspace then you should have gone with something less messy.

Reply

hortiz1 | 7

#7400932 - Monday 30 January 2017 2:21

You should've ate in the breakroom like a normal person.

By Moerighan | 23

#7400954 - Monday 30 January 2017 3:49

There's these things they invented called napkins? Maybe you've heard of them? Why not give it a go next time and wrap your brat.

By swervelol | 28

#7400995 - Monday 30 January 2017 4:55

I didn't know that cheesy brats were so strange to other people... then again I live in Wisconsin! We know the struggle all too well best of luck cleaning that mess.

By HaleyMae321 | 5

#7401127 - Monday 30 January 2017 9:55

First of all sounds like you deserved it. Second, when you're so American you imagine a spoiled child covered in cheese ?

By sandman676 | 20

#7401146 - Monday 30 January 2017 10:23

Keyboard keys are removable for cleaning fml