Today, my husband put up one of those sticky fly trap strips...

By Anonymous - 30/07/2019 20:00

Today, my husband put up one of those sticky fly trap strips behind our toilet. I was tired and didn't notice it in the dark bathroom. I leaned back and it stuck in my hair. I didn't notice the dead flies in my hair until I went to buy lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 742

You deserved it 256

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Same thing different taste

By Human fly - 21/04/2013 06:20 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 100

You deserved it 46 458

By Anonymous - 08/11/2018 05:00

Today, my mum put up a sticky fly trap to try get rid of our fly problem. My phone started ringing and I jogged to answer it, but my hair got stuck in the trap. My mum had to pull my hair out of the sticky mess and pick dead fly bodies out of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 368

You deserved it 400

Guilty

By Fly-Trapping Monster - 14/08/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, I walked past my fly strip while a fly who had been caught, but hadn't yet died, was on it. While I was there, I could hear his frantic buzzing and see his little arms flailing like mad as he tried in vain to escape. Great. Now I feel like shit for putting these things up. What kind of a monster am I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 381

Must be the corpse in the basement

By FLIES, MAKE THEM STOP - 02/09/2022 23:00 - United States

Today, I woke up this morning and there was suddenly dozens of flies all around the house, so I put up fly ribbons to deal with them. Within three hours, every inch of every single one of those ribbons was covered in dead flies, and there were still more flying about. I don't have any more to put up. Uh oh… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 166

By Shinobi_3 - 26/02/2010 17:43 - United States

Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 837

You deserved it 29 329

By Anonymous - 18/11/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, my water wouldn't go down my shower drain. Confused, I stuck a metal stick expecting hair, but instead stabbed and pulled up a rat that was dead in my drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 982

You deserved it 2 472

Flies gonna fly

By Defeated - 10/10/2022 16:40 - United States

Today, I've become so accustomed to having flies in my house that I just gave up on getting rid of them. I only kill the ones that repeatedly land on my face or, worst of all, in my ears. Especially when they get stuck in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 763

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 878

By browngirl - 29/09/2013 04:16 - Canada - Vernon

Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 865

You deserved it 4 972

By Anonymous - 06/10/2009 21:31 - United States

Today, while I was in the shower I noticed a short, black hair on my loofa. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 775

You deserved it 8 940

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 30 July 2019 23:15

What were you doing wasting money on lunch? You had some perfectly good flies in your hair.

LostSoul 19

Wednesday 31 July 2019 1:59

I don't eat burgers and he was Turkish. Yes,he noticed.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 30 July 2019 21:14

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

LostSoul 19

Wednesday 31 July 2019 1:59

I don't eat burgers and he was Turkish. Yes,he noticed.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 31 July 2019 17:44

You could have had a chicken sandwich or a Beyond Meat “burger.” Turkey is in Asia Minor, which is next to Asia Major, so I’m only a little off.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 30 July 2019 23:15

What were you doing wasting money on lunch? You had some perfectly good flies in your hair.

LostSoul 19

Wednesday 31 July 2019 1:59

lol

Tiffani Carter 6

Wednesday 31 July 2019 2:58

You don’t brush your hair? Look in the mirror when you get dressed?

LostSoul 19

Monday 5 August 2019 20:07

I was already dressed. Why would I just be getting dressed when I am going to get food?

Peaches1914 13

Thursday 1 August 2019 23:51

Why flies in the bathroom?

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The Top

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 023

Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 737

The Top

Today, my boyfriend refused to take me out on our three year anniversary because he was busy, "training to become a professional gamer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 810

You deserved it 8 653

Today, while I was out of the house, my 6 year old brother stole my new waterproof camera, dunked it into the toilet holding onto the wrist strap, and flushed repeatedly to see if it lived up to its "waterproof promise." It didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 534

You deserved it 3 748

Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 149

You deserved it 390

Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying, “Woah no thanks.” Cool, I get rejected even in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 558

You deserved it 290

Today, my perfect princess sister is finally going to jail where she belongs. My parents, who doted on her while dumping shit on me, blame me for “being a bad influence and not talking to the judge on her behalf.” I’m a technical engineer; what influence do they think I have in a criminal court? FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 103

Today, as a joke, my friends plastic wrapped me to my bed while I was sleeping, I had an allergic reaction to the plastic and had to have the girl I like come cut me out and give me my meds. I sleep naked and was unable to put on clothes during this time. She saw me naked, swollen and with hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 327

You deserved it 5 945

Same thing different taste

Guilty

Must be the corpse in the basement

Flies gonna fly

Monster in my bathroom

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