Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I went to see my ill granddad in hospital. I saw lots of doctors around his bed, and they pronounced him dead, so I ran out crying. A little later, I found out that my granddad had been moved, and it was a different man in his bed. FML
Today, my uncle called me at work, telling me to rush him to the doctor's. I get home and he doesn't"t want to go anywhere. He says he has the chills, so I turn on the furnace. Next he says he's too hot, and stripped to his underwear. I ask him to let me take him to doctor. He does nothing. Work is expecting me to bring a doctor's note tomorrow. FML
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML
Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML
Today, I saw an old friend while out and about. Since I don't leave the house very often, my friend was surprised to see me in person. He jokingly asked if someone was dying, and I cried in response. I was in fact going to the hospital to say goodbye to my grandma. FML
Today, my grandparents are in town for the weekend and are staying in our guest bedroom. This morning I went upstairs to get a drink of water, only to see my 75 year-old grandfather standing stark naked with the fridge door open. He then asked me if we had any coffee creamer. FML
Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patient's room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML
Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML
Today, I work at a hospice center. At 3AM, a call just went out to a man's family to come because he was dying. I didn't realize that this man was my old friend's grandpa. When I saw her, I smiled really big and said, "Hey! Great to see you!" Her grandpa was ACTIVELY DYING. Stupid stupid stupid. FML
Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML
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Top comments
starflyer59 17
gotta love grandparents :)
Harmell 7
Your granddad is amazing
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Comments (88)
Wizardo 34
If he says he's still got, then be jove he's still got it :D
rg350dx 29
Grandpa's got old man game. Ladies can't resist.
Izabushel 65
Some men never give up. My first year as a nurse I had a patient who was 101 years old try to get me to hop into bed with him!
Izabushel 65
Hahaha, no. Not long before I had given him a bottle so he could empty his bladder. Normally men just put their penis into the opening and do their business. This old guy put in not only his penis, but he stuffed his testicles in as well! The opening is not that big, and I was rather shocked that he managed it with room to spare. Now I am not saying that if he had larger genitals I would have been tempted to hop into bed with him, but I particularly remember this patient because of that. Maybe he wanted to prove that size does not matter.
perdix 31
Sounds like he's not going to die anytime soon, and if he does, it will be EPIC! (I've always wanted to get ****** to death, but not by the IRS ;) )
SirEskimo 13
He's still got it, don't knock his hustle because you're jealous you don't have his game.
grahmagog 14
Old people are awesome
nolannowon 4
my gawd xD
DarkJediLove 19
Best oblige him and take down notes for future use!
Sappheira 5
I think I'll post this on tumblr
emeraldisle 30
You do that.
HortonThelephant 15
Lord, in all your infinite power and wisdom, in 60 years allow me to become one of the great grandparents of FML lore.