Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, and as always, I recycle my trash at work: paper in the yellow trashcan, the rest in the black one. This morning, I saw a cleaning lady empty the contents of the black trashcan into the yellow one, put the whole lot into a big plastic bag and then leave as if this was normal. FML
Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML
Today, I packed all my clothes in a black garbage bag, so I could easily move them to my new house. When I came back outside to load it into my car, the bag was missing, and all I could see was a garbage truck driving away with the week's trash. FML
Today, I came home and saw my roommate had taken out the garbage for the first time in the three years we have lived in the same house. Unfortunately, the bag of laundry I had by the door was taken out with it as well. FML
Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML
Today, I stopped at a supermarket after work and put my reusable bags on the counter while I paid. When I got home, I realized I'd left the bags at the checkout. I went back, and they were still there. Nobody had touched them. I felt strangely lucky and embarrassed at the same time. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML
Today, I ran out of moving boxes so I used a few garbage bags to pack up my clothes. My new roommate decided to be helpful by putting those green garbage bags in the dumpster. It was garbage day. FML
Today, at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and realized that I had thrown an expensive gift certificate for a friend in the garbage. Since it was garbage day, I ran out in the rain in my pajamas and rifled through all three bags of garbage. Twice. I found the gift certificate. It was in my pocket. FML
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Top comments
fractal47 2
So many FMLs can be summarized by "Today, I wasn't paying attention, and did something stupid. FML"
someguy945 0
I hope you don't keep a tiny poodle in your handbag.
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Comments (43)
Eternity_fml 0
I don't get how she threw her handbag in the machine if she just set it down? Can you really be that retarded?
patticake1601 0
apparently she is THAT retarded
outsidebox 0
She THOUGHT she set her bag down, but actually set the trash down.
bugmenotmofo 34
ouch
Bgreat09 0
You must be blind or blonde!!!!!! HAHA MORON!!!!
italienne_95 0
jeez u need to pay a little more attention next time :P:P
kristidgranger 3
that sucks bad!
Einstein714 0
fml staff, is there a ******* reason my comments don't get posted
Witchcraft_fml 5
Eh, mine have been devoured too. :E The site's acting up.
LifesBitch1217 0
LMFAO... that is absolutely ******' CLASSIC! I do dumbass things like that all the time.. I think my favorite was the time a few years ago, when I found my mom's generally "outside" cat hooked outside on the leash with her BELOVED stupid midget yip-yip dog nowhere to be found.. he tends to run off.. oops! But hey! They're pretty much the same damn size, AND color.. yours is totally "blonder". LOL!
kmfyr 0
OP, if you're confusing your handbag for your garbage bag, it's a sign that: 1) Your handbag is too damned big. 2) Your handbag has too much garbage. FYL for losing all the important shit in your handbag, but you really should have paid better attention. Having a handbag that resembles a garbage bag does not help.
Gen_Knowledge 0
I hope you see now that you shouldn't always be chatting/texting on the phone with someone while you do work.
mollytamale 1
D: