Love: Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Turns out we only...

By Anon - 28/04/2016 20:27 - United States - Henderson

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Turns out we only have one thing in common: we would both bang Hillary Clinton. FML

agreeclassic 11 195

vote type 1 4 639

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Great deal

By danny - 14/12/2021 08:01 - United States - Federal Way

Today, my crush from high school finally agreed to go out with me. While on the seemingly good date, she offered me a discount to her OnlyFans page. FML

agreeclassic 1 141

vote type 1 215

By ThatOneGuy - 28/04/2019 16:00

Today I went on a date with my long time crush only to find out that we are distant cousins. FML

agreeclassic 2 586

vote type 1 243

By Disappointed - 26/05/2016 20:27 - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, I started dating my crush. Turns out she's a living nightmare. FML

agreeclassic 14 221

vote type 1 2 732

Misunderstood

By Lonely - 24/07/2011 17:02 - United States

Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML

agreeclassic 45 605

vote type 1 9 476

By firstdate - 24/01/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML

agreeclassic 36 275

vote type 1 5 333

Love is…

By manderz? - 03/08/2016 00:18 - United States - Beach Haven

Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML

agreeclassic 13 509

vote type 1 1 122

But I'm a man

By moneyman - 05/01/2020 20:00

Today, I went on a date with a beautiful woman I had recently met. Great food, great conversation, and a great connection. That is, until she revealed that she is a lesbian. FML

agreeclassic 2 160

vote type 1 350

Long winded way of saying "No chance, mate"

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 18:00 - United States - Kings Park

Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML

agreeclassic 414

vote type 1 119

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 18:02 - United States - Greensburg

Today, I had lunch with an old friend I've had a crush on for years. We're both single, so I figured it to be kind of like a date. Until he started talking about how he told his brother last night that we would never be a thing. FML

agreeclassic 25 235

vote type 1 2 758

By anon - 21/06/2011 11:52 - United States

Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML

agreeclassic 36 852

vote type 1 7 280

bheaze 20

Friday 29 April 2016 11:29

Then there's only one thing to do... Threesome with Hillary Clinton.

ThunderLightTSV 31

Friday 29 April 2016 11:36

Of course this was posted where I live, why am I not surprised.

Comments

fictionaldiary 11

Tuesday 21 June 2016 12:45

Why exactly did you have a crush on this person if you have nothing in common?

mmaarrrggoo 19

Tuesday 28 June 2016 23:49

I would say have a threesome and **** her brains out, but unfortunately she has none.

stressengr 13

Tuesday 18 October 2016 4:41

YUCK!

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I'm sick. I got the flu shot for the first time ever this year and for the first time in my life, I have the flu. FML

agreeclassic 24 865

vote type 1 5 210

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

agreeclassic 55 579

vote type 1 6 421

Today, I was reading the seventh Harry Potter book at an airport. A woman asked me what I was reading, so I told her. She said, "Oh, so you have children?" Since I'm in my early twenties, I was taken aback and said no. She replied slower and louder, "Oh, so you have a childlike mind?" FML

agreeclassic 2 153

vote type 1 364

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

agreeclassic 9 028

vote type 1 34 894

Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML

agreeclassic 33 280

vote type 1 3 289

Today, I was in a video call with my boss when my Wi-Fi decided to take a vacation. I thought I could salvage the situation by using my iPhone’s hotspot. But then my phone ran out of data mid-sentence, and my boss got a glimpse of me cursing at my phone while frantically waving it in the air. FML

agreeclassic 338

vote type 1 115