Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Turns out we only have one thing in common: we would both bang Hillary Clinton. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my crush from high school finally agreed to go out with me. While on the seemingly good date, she offered me a discount to her OnlyFans page. FML
Today I went on a date with my long time crush only to find out that we are distant cousins. FML
Today, I started dating my crush. Turns out she's a living nightmare. FML
Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML
Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML
Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML
Today, I went on a date with a beautiful woman I had recently met. Great food, great conversation, and a great connection. That is, until she revealed that she is a lesbian. FML
Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML
Today, I had lunch with an old friend I've had a crush on for years. We're both single, so I figured it to be kind of like a date. Until he started talking about how he told his brother last night that we would never be a thing. FML
Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML
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Top comments
bheaze 20
Then there's only one thing to do... Threesome with Hillary Clinton.
ThunderLightTSV 31
Of course this was posted where I live, why am I not surprised.
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Comments (70)
fictionaldiary 11
Why exactly did you have a crush on this person if you have nothing in common?
mmaarrrggoo 19
I would say have a threesome and **** her brains out, but unfortunately she has none.
stressengr 13
YUCK!