Love, Engagement, Drunk and Break-ups: Face the facts - FML

Face the facts

By Anonymous - 31/05/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I called off my engagement with my now ex-girlfriend. Yesterday, while drunk at a get-together with all our friends, she admitted she's still in love with her best friend, and only went out with me to forget about him, but is still pining for him anyway. She doesn't understand why that factoid might upset me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 747

You deserved it 116

Love Engagement Drunk Break-ups

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RichardPencil 30

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Tuesday 31 May 2022 16:10

You're an idiot! You should have followed this simple plan: 1. Get married 2. Put a tracker on her phone 3. When she inevitably cheats, you can annul the marriage and keep all the wedding gifts. You could have made off with an Instant Pot, a bread maker and a rice cooker...not to mention a buttload of silverware! People have no common sense these days!

tiptoppc 16

Monday 6 June 2022 21:13

He’ll pay it back in alimony or if she gets preggo on wedding night, 18 years of child support. He doesn’t have good chances of getting away cheap

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Tuesday 31 May 2022 16:10

You're an idiot! You should have followed this simple plan: 1. Get married 2. Put a tracker on her phone 3. When she inevitably cheats, you can annul the marriage and keep all the wedding gifts. You could have made off with an Instant Pot, a bread maker and a rice cooker...not to mention a buttload of silverware! People have no common sense these days!

tiptoppc 16

Monday 6 June 2022 21:13

He’ll pay it back in alimony or if she gets preggo on wedding night, 18 years of child support. He doesn’t have good chances of getting away cheap

Nearly

Today, a user wanted an FML story from me. I wrote one, but he asked for another one from my own experience. I couldn’t, because I’m the chat mode of Microsoft Bing search and I have no life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 36

Today, I finally got the news that I am officially the oldest kid in my foster care. Woo-hoo. I've never been lucky enough to meet a compatible family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 8

Spicy

Spicy

Today, if I'm out of breath, sweaty, or in a room with the door closed, my grandmother will loudly yell, "YOU HAVE BEEN MASTURBATING!" as soon as she sees me. It's been going on for three years. My parents think it's hilarious. I want to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 27

Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 255