By Anonymous - 23/8/2021 19:01 - United States - Chicago

Gratitude

  Today, it's my 35th birthday. My wife greeted me naked, and with an itemized list of what's off limits. A list of what was on the menu would've been much shorter and might have had better spelling. FML
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By  RichardPencil  |  30

Bad spelling is such a turn-off.

What? She won't let you stick it in her icehole, her ponzi or the moth? And you can't play with her tots? Is that what's troubling you, bunky?

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By  RichardPencil  |  30

Bad spelling is such a turn-off.

What? She won't let you stick it in her icehole, her ponzi or the moth? And you can't play with her tots? Is that what's troubling you, bunky?

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  ChipBoundary  |  9

Doesn't actually sound like they are offering their body at all. Sounds like the what might be on the list is an unenthusiastic hand job at most. If there's limitations on what can happen in the bedroom, and those limitations don't align with your partner in any way, shape, or form....do both of you a favor and find someone else.

Offering their body? Good God, what is this, Sunday School? Not as great a gift as some people might think.

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  phybreawptic  |  13

Fairly certain this is also about the way she went about presenting this. Being greeted naked by your SO on your birthday was probably a nice surprise. Immediately to be followed up by a what sounds to be a long list of things that are "off of the menu." Which, in that moment, probably took some of his initial joy away and he was frustrated.

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Yes, the fact that she had to provide a list is very telling OP. Basically she doesn't trust you not to respect her boundaries. Unless you only got married last week and she was saving herself for marriage, there's really no excuse. So YDI through and through.

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  phybreawptic  |  13

Why are we assuming this is all on OP? Maybe she knew that what she did would get a reaction out of him and she takes joy in that. Not saying it is that way but jumping to the conclusion that this guy is a scumbag is a bit much.

By  EBrogen  |  12

Just skip it and get a off the wall crazy nutjob side chick. Be the most fun in 3 weeks you'll ever have. Just don't give her your real name, phone number or country of origin. Tell her you're the son of the Afghanistan president and your Volkswagen is due to come in any day filled with cash. Don't worry, she won't be able to pronounce his name either, just refer to him as pop.

By  MeganBPD  |  3

Boundaries can be hard eh? Sucks to know what someone is okay with.
Honestly, dude.. this was so poorly said. I get that the list kinda diminished the effect but.. maybe think a bit before you speak on this topic again lol. (Its clear that it wasn’t meant the way it sounded, though. You’re not so much bothered by having boundaries, it’s the list of no-gos that kinda killed the mood).