Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, I woke up and saw a piece of black fuzz on my shirt. I tried to pick it off but it crawled into my hand and stabbed my skin with its sharp legs. I screamed like a little girl because I had a centipede on me. FML
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML
Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML
Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high-pitched voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
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Top comments
rick1 8
... Why would someone even willingly do that? Nasty.
sarah6786 14
Protein. Several legged protein.
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Comments (109)
rooneygirl420 13
Ew. Wtf...
pdp_fml 21
Does he swallow the dead worm at the bottom of the tequila bottle too?
MadisonDerp 16
*Cleveland's Voice* "Ooh that's nayusty"
Schiffy 18
The best FMLs start with "Today, I watched in horror as...."
thepretender10 4
they are probably considered a delicacy in some cultures.
Omniprism 15
Survival of the fittest.
ulissey_fml 22
Some people put their foot in their mouth. Your Dad sort of sees things on a bigger scale.
why57why 21
Nope nope nope nope
kthsdm 12
bear gylls is ur dad?
NikiTabrizi 5
Was he bear grylls ?