Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML
Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML
Today, I woke up and saw a piece of black fuzz on my shirt. I tried to pick it off but it crawled into my hand and stabbed my skin with its sharp legs. I screamed like a little girl because I had a centipede on me. FML
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML
Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML
Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high-pitched voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
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Top comments
rick1 8
... Why would someone even willingly do that? Nasty.
sarah6786 14
Protein. Several legged protein.
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Comments (109)
sanecatlady 13
I read that if you eat insects they have to be still alive or cooked while alive or immediately after being killed because they go bad really quickly, like lobsters. Although one centipede probably won't hurt him I hope your dad doesn't get sick.
ifavela89 13
what did you say? maybe he likes bugs and it was suppose to be a secret lol
jw90 18
Mmm protein
gracehi 33
Today, I spent hours preparing a delicious meal of roast leg of lamb, complete with white wine glaze, gravy, and roast potatoes. I ate the meal with my grateful boyfriend, savoring every bite slowly, and going back for seconds, until I simply couldn't eat anymore. Feeling very satisfied, I decided to read some FMLs while I digested. I read one about a man who ate a centipede, and threw up every bite...my socks are soggy. FML
neeni88 23
YDI. Don't you know by now that you shouldn't read FMLs while eating or digesting?
gracehi 33
Well, I certainly do now.
gracehi 33
Btw, just so everyone knows, this story is fictitious, written for entertainment...except for the part about the roasted lamb...it truly was delicious :p (that was me licking my lips...mmmmm...mmmm...MMMMMMM)
theonecasey 27
Someone has been watching too much lion king..
chaosincarnate 8
Slimy yet satisfying.
lonewolf658 6
Didn't know Bear Grylls had a kid
Callilah 13
No dear god just no!
luvmypony 6
ew
holyshitbatman 20
better than eating a human Centipede