Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

Today, I woke up and saw a piece of black fuzz on my shirt. I tried to pick it off but it crawled into my hand and stabbed my skin with its sharp legs. I screamed like a little girl because I had a centipede on me. FML

Happy meal

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

Hair-raising

Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML

Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high-pitched voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML