By jjjjjohn cena - 13/08/2015 01:44 - United States - Omaha

Spicy
Today, I was woken up to the crushing of my balls after my 5-year-old son thought it would be the best way to wake me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 679
You deserved it 2 158

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That's like don't bite the hand the feeds you........ Don't destroy the balls that created you.

I have a three year old little boy who either farts in my face or peels my eyelid open and pokes me in the eye. More often than not it's a poke in the eye. He thinks it's hilarious... It's a shitty way to wake up, but it is pretty fuckin hilarious. Never a dull day with little kids around.

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..Well it worked didn't it? lol sorry OP

Not sure it's the best way, I'd go with most effective.

Am I the only one who though that OP's name made this FML even funnier?

Well...you are awake now, maybe he was right.

Yes, awake indeed! Perhaps bawling, vomiting, newly sterilized... but oh yes, totally conscious. It certainly sounds like an effective way to get a guy up, just with some collateral damage. OP, I hope no lasting harm was inflicted.

That's like don't bite the hand the feeds you........ Don't destroy the balls that created you.

You sir... Up you go.

At this rate, he'll never have to worry about another kid putting him through this

maybe he's more evil than you think and this is how he's trying to secure his place as an only child

I have a three year old little boy who either farts in my face or peels my eyelid open and pokes me in the eye. More often than not it's a poke in the eye. He thinks it's hilarious... It's a shitty way to wake up, but it is pretty fuckin hilarious. Never a dull day with little kids around.

If you think your own masochism is pretty fuckin hilarious, I'll appreciate my choice to live without making children that much more. Thank you.

Ugh, my daughter like to creepily tickle my neck while staring at me with her eyes wide open.... So many heart attacks!

i feel sorry for you op, but maybe you should try to explain him that it's not nice to hit people in the balls

Sorry OP. Maybe he was just making sure that he was the last child you'll have...

Don't you just love children?

well atleast you already have a kid, in case your balls are broken now haha

I thought the saying was "Wakey, wakey, hands off snakey..." Clearly your son didn't get the memo.

Isn't is "Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey"?

I was quoting My Name is Earl.