Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. I swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML
Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML
Today, I jumped into a pool from seven meters high, landed on my ass, and got a free enema. My ass still hurts. FML
Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at Tae kwon do practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear." He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML
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Top comments
Topguy 0
ewwww bad day...
TheChanel 0
see, this is why I'm just really not fond of kids... FYL
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Comments (120)
hi_from_HI 0
Vile!!! No really, that's one of the grossest posts I've read. So much for trying to be friendly too
slitherysloth 0
Lol @ explosive diarrhea. Is there ever any other kind?
24788 7
Haha, You should of done the same thing and ran into the water.
waterynuggets 0
Sure you did.
robodoll 0
Yuck yuck yuck!
EBflea 0
You poor thing. That's horrible.
deliapearl 0
just rinse it off in the pool
BunnyEars 0
Shit in the pool is also pretty disturbing...
inu_fml 0
it was a beach
StudBoiAyeEm 0
now i would have wanted to beat the child thats so fuhkin nasty i woud have only hit the kid if it were my nephew tho he does a bunch of shit and knows better
KathleenOMG 0
Um, I'm pretty sure it wasn't the kids' fault. HE WAS SICK. Beating children is a despicable thing to do, I don't care if they've done something on purpose, that's absolutely no excuse.
dnotter 0
was he swimming naked or what? surely if he had some sort of swimwear on you wouldn't have it "all over" your back.
dyld921 2
It can still leak out. Explosive diarrhea isn't exactly a small mess.
Mnemic 6
I hope you called him back and wringed him out so you were sure he was empty. ^^