Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. I swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML
Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML
Today, I jumped into a pool from seven meters high, landed on my ass, and got a free enema. My ass still hurts. FML
Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at Tae kwon do practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear." He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML
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Top comments
Topguy 0
ewwww bad day...
TheChanel 0
see, this is why I'm just really not fond of kids... FYL
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Comments (120)
Rikki_Cares 0
I'm so sorry! next time, ask the kid what's wrong.
Shizden 0
Shit happens. Literally.
Samazoid 0
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww.
SweetestSin 4
How in the world did you not feel, smell, or hear it when it happend? I hope you had your shirt off that way you could just wash it off otherwise you would have to take your shirt off over your heard causing shit to get in your hair
drummerforever 0
haha there would have been a shockwave or something... lol explosive
chocotia 0
ughh dude that sucks his parents should take you out on a dinner or at least given u a trip to the hairsalon to get rid of the kids stinky butt smell in your hair.. oii sucks.. =(
Darth_Taco 14
Yeah...I'm super gluing diapers on all my kids when I have them so people like you won't have to suffer. I'm gonna go vomit now...
itsgen 16
ewwww thats sooooooo gross if i were you i would never teach that brat again
666HailSatan666 0
YDI for using the word "Proceed"
dyld921 2
it's a word. get over it.
jjenniferr05 0
wtf, dumbass.
boatkicker 5
Using the word proceed is not nearly so ridiculous as using "utilize"
lovely997 0
UGGGGGHHHG !
j3nn1987 0
Dude... I'm sorry... Roflao