Today, I was sitting in the living room with my husband when we heard a baby coo. This would have been adorable, if we had a baby. FML
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Today, at 2:30am, I heard my baby crying on the monitor. As I got out of bed, she stopped crying and started laughing. There's nobody else in the house. FML
Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I made eye contact with a baby across the room. It smiled at me, so I smiled back. The baby immediately started screaming. Everyone stared at me like I'd just threatened it. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, I spent way too long baby-talking my neighbor’s dog through the fence, calling him "the cutest, sweetest baby." It turned out that my neighbor was sitting on the other side of the fence the entire time, out of view, quietly giggling at me. FML
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said, "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2 month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk whenever they make a noise. My fridge started beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, "It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright." FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
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Top comments
Standupmast3r 18
Maybe the stork brought it.
fightingkittens 39
Are there cats around? Cats make some weird-ass sounds that don't sound like cats, but they might sound like babies.
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Comments (72)
DeezNuts_1234 6
Follow up please?
courtney_leath 14
Was it a ghost baby??
Mesmer3456 2
OP here. So we are pretty sure the cooing noise was just a stray cat because we heard it again later that night as well. However my niece did inform me that when she was upstairs in her room she saw the shadow of a child in her room and heard laughter. She was in the house alone at the time.
taintedtruffle 42
sounds terrifying