Intimacy: Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been...

By thjeltz - 27/10/2010 18:48 - Canada

Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 953

You deserved it 3 067

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By bruised - 19/05/2016 20:54 - Australia - Sydney

Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 308

You deserved it 1 238

By JLoistheBomb - 11/02/2009 00:01 - United States

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 675

You deserved it 76 556

By TJ - 07/01/2010 16:50 - India

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 228

You deserved it 2 996

Puck my life

By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 19:54 - Canada - Burlington

Today, I went to a hockey game. While warm-ups were happening, my favourite player pointed at me and tossed me a puck. It bounced off my hand into another girl's, who was a fan of the other team. She refused to give it back, then walked away and said, "I can't wait to sell this on eBay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 063

You deserved it 2 427

By eventer1919 - 04/08/2015 02:48 - United States - Rice Lake

Today, I was asked to cover work for someone because they have volleyball practice. Apparently, they haven't noticed that we've been on the same team for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 998

You deserved it 1 812

Common passion

By ShowerheadGirl - 09/11/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable shower head. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, "You too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 165

You deserved it 25 227

Senpai Noticed

By HelenErutherford - 09/07/2018 01:30

Today, my period started. It wouldn't be a big deal if it hadn't happened while I was in my karate class practicing kicks, and if the guy I have a crush on hadn't informed me of it after chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 235

You deserved it 324

By Nutless - 02/04/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 558

You deserved it 12 422

Benched

By fmlprobot - 04/06/2009 23:48 - United States

Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 403

You deserved it 4 674

By Noname - 17/03/2009 20:35 - United States

Today, I had a gymnastics meet. I thought I was done with my period, but when I was up on the beam warming up my routine, one of my coaches called me down and told me that I apparently wasn't. My coach goes around asking my teammates moms if they had any pads. My dad caught this all on tape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 889

You deserved it 7 671

Fortuitous 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:16

I thought you score in hockey when you get the puck into the goal, not the stick.

bridgette5866 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:33

so y'all need to hide yo dick, hide yo balls, hide your dick, hide yo balls, and hide yo asshole cuz they rapin errbody in here

Comments

bigbadtim 7

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:42

He shoots, he scores!

eddieyes 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:47

that's hot! but it'd be so uncomfortable for you since you are straight

KYS75 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 4:00

^ Queermo

bishhitsandii 3

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:47

You should get some glow-in-the-dark condoms, hit the lights, and play Star Wars with him! :D

Crephix 3

Thursday 28 October 2010 1:11

Maybe he doesn't like Star Wars. Either way awesome idea lol. Now if only guys could play with girls :(

BakNBitz 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 3:46

You can find girls with dicks if you look hard enough...

nycy 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:41

And an internet to you for the really old fml reference

kendra19977 0

Thursday 4 November 2010 4:07

they can play too...just differently

realityreject 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 1:08

OP only in the showers... only in the showers... stay away from him or report that guy to your coach.

angels21 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 1:22

*Like*

Phustercluck 11

Thursday 28 October 2010 1:23

Anyone wanna play tummy sticks?

MissErikaHart 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 2:28

lmao WTF?!

W4X 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 1:38

Ha! That sucks though. Just avoid him and you will be okay.

theatregrl2 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 1:39

*there ARE five more months. Grammar is important, it keeps you from sounding stupid.

herzeleid334 13

Thursday 28 October 2010 1:55

Yes, but have you considered that English might not be the OP's native language? The US isn't the only country in the world >_>

theatregrl2 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 3:12

True enough, but the OP is from Canada and, judging from the slang and phrasing of the rest of the FML, is at least adequately familiar with the English language. Side note: the US is far from the only country that speaks English.

mapleh 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 4:09

I am sure that the op does not care much for his grammar, I know I sure as hell don't... well at least not when posting on FML. He also just got harassed, I am sure grammar is the least of his worries.