Intimacy: Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents...

By Headphones - 21/07/2009 21:38 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 619

You deserved it 5 694

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Same thing different taste

Nooooooo!

By ScarredEars - 12/08/2010 12:02 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 352

You deserved it 3 798

By Anonymous - 20/01/2013 02:55 - Canada

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 792

You deserved it 9 690

By sleepless - 20/06/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 040

You deserved it 2 901

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 667

You deserved it 4 389

My ears! My ears!

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 05:15

Today, I woke up at 1:39 a.m. to my dad's phone going off, only to hear my parents having sex. It's now 2:12 a.m. and I can still hear them going at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 242

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 579

You deserved it 4 974

By scarred - 27/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 011

You deserved it 3 944

Thin walls

By xtilltheendx - 05/10/2020 20:08 - United States

Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 1 379

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 388

You deserved it 43 137

By lunarboy - 17/02/2009 00:24 - United States

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 700

You deserved it 68 918

aback 4

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:46

Next time, applaud and yell "Encore!"

TheCookieCrumb 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:43

Just in time for the big finale!

Comments

pizz0wn3d 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:49

what's with all the sex fmls in this batch?

iFRUiTTART 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:49

This FML's missing a part : "I took them off just in time to hear them finish . It turned me on . FML."

Emberlin 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:51

Awww at least you have parents who love each other

bigmidget 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:51

I feel sooooo sorry for u

Acer1096xxx 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:52

Rofl

pwnrzero 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:54

eh, soundproof your room i know, it costs money, but with this kind of fml, its worth it. FYL

BleedingAssassin 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:54

): I'm so sorry but you deserved it. You need to listen to longer songs. Try Paramore :3

Casualt1234 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:59

you mean led zeppelin or rush

diet_otaku 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:59

how did OP deserve it? he thought they were done. how long the songs were had nothing to do with it. also: in b4 "OMG YOUR PARENTS HAVE SEX?! GROW UP/DEAL WITH IT."

BleedingAssassin 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:02

@ OP, OMG YOUR PARENTS HAVE SEX?! GROW UP....DEAL WITH IT

newyorker17 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:09

It's not that they have sex. It's hearing it. It can be uncomfortable to listen to people have sex, especially when they're your parents. There's a difference between not being able to accept normal adult relationships and not being somewhat scarred after hearing your parents' intimacy.

SpottedStar 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 18:51

I feel really bad for you. That would suck. And hey # 17 no amount of Paramore would ever make anything like that better.

Ballafo 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 0:58

Noooo don't listen to that paramore garbage, try metallica or guns n roses or motorhead. New bands are all terrible.

proudstub 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:07

need longer songs ? Mozart, Beethoven, Wagner, Dvorak, Williams etc. a typical Classical music movement usually last longer than a sex session. Another option: enable gapless and repeat modes on your music player (and pray your father didn't learn to have multiple orgasms otherwise your life is definitely ******).

Pretty_Tied_Up_fml 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 3:58

amen to #18!

BleedingAssassin 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:00

No they are not, just cuz today's mainstream sucks doesnt mean there are good music out there. also i fail to see how bohemian rhapsody is one of the greatest music out there cuz it sounds like shit

Para199x 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 1:03

Yeah not all new music sucks but paramore does. =/

Layneebby 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 21:13

Bohemian Rhapsody is an amazing composition when you really break it down. We sang it in my choir and it was amazing. When you learn what the song is about and how difficult it is to preform with a four part choir, let alone with one person like Freddy Mercury did, you could appreciate it more. At the OP: that sucks so bad. That is nasty to hear.