By Anonymous - 20/01/2013 02:55 - Canada

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 798
You deserved it 9 699
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Top comments

SmallBean 12

well at least he had the courtesy to check if you were up or not. Next time just have that 30 second conversation with your father and you can avoid this again.

133 7
sens3sfailing 24

Why didn't I think of that? I'll just completely change the thickness of my walls with that easy do-it-yourself kit they sell online...

57 2

Comments

imaginaryvoice 18

Whelp, nothing left to do other than tickle the pickle. Flick the bean. Whatever it is you anonymous people do

2 7
oj101 33

Most people don't think about their parents 95% of the time, let alone think about them doing the deed, and yet let alone preparing for the worst. Plus it costs quite a lot of money, would be embarrassing for both parties and rather impractical. Some things work in theory, but not in practice for this one. Headphones are better.

24 7
sens3sfailing 24

Why didn't I think of that? I'll just completely change the thickness of my walls with that easy do-it-yourself kit they sell online...

57 2
CharresBarkrey 15

22 - Psst. Egg cartons and acoustic foam. Worked like a charm for my drum set when I was in high school.

22 2
dancinwookie 21

You could round up a plethora of mattresses and line every inch of your room. The added bonus to this is you can sleep anywhere you want.

21 1
EvilUndead 9

21, regardless of parents, soundproofing is a GOOD thing. In cities, especially.

4 6
qwillis98 20

"Roses are red, violets are blue, your parent f*cked, but its YOU who go screwed!"

1 1
Bluekaren16 19

Well sounds like your dad got right to it!

35 4
lilhellian 26

Just open the book up and get lost in it..

37 10
igive 29

No, OP said they were reading a book. 50 Shades is unworthy of being called "a book."

52 8
sens3sfailing 24

Can we put twilight in that category as well?

27 7
SpottedZebra42 14

Isn't 50 shades of grey just a fanfic of twilight with the names changed?

27 3
ShyAnn29 14

31, I think the author started out writing twilight fanfic.

15 1
jem970 19

It would be so nice to stop hearing about how those books suck. Yes I called them books and they are for ENTERTAINMENT, they werent writting them to win the Nobel prize or the Pulitzer!

18 5
charvisioku 22

57, I know what you mean but it's pretty infuriating seeing those sorry excuses for books on the shelves when there are tonnes of writers trying and failing to get published. Twishite and 50 Shades belong on a free website, not an actual bookshelf.

17 5
ChibiChibi_fml 27

People apparently disagreed with you though because both of those started on a free website and the people wanted more.

3 2
HelloSirs 14

I might start walking around talking about my favorite **** sites. Since that is basically just the visual version of 50 Shades of Gray.

9 0
Googolman 29

Have any of you noticed that on page 69 of the book "Fifty Shades Darker" two characters are having sex?

1 4
sens3sfailing 24

wow, you just killed off a quarter of my braincells with that stupid comment...

1 0
nedelife 3

that's every page. and it would be funnier if they were 69ing

0 0
SmallBean 12

well at least he had the courtesy to check if you were up or not. Next time just have that 30 second conversation with your father and you can avoid this again.

133 7
JenkJenks 6

Next time he checks on you just pop out of bed and yell, "I'm awake!!! For God's sake please know that I am awake!!!"

39 1
Pleonasm 35

Not as scarring as the thought that all that has happened many more times while you were asleep. Who knows what freaky things they do when you're not listening.

34 16
HelloSirs 14

Those "family friends" that come over ;).

2 1
Tavers 19

What about the thought that they may have done it on your bed while your out of the house?

1 3
PenguinBitch 43

Well since you already know what they're doing you might as well go along with it. Read 50 Shades of Grey. The story will really come to life with the added background noises.

18 36
musicalnoodles23 5

Just.... Just no. No. I'm sorry, nobody's gonna do that.

3 0
Pleonasm 35

Plauge? Retna? And a naked mom? Whose naked mom?

53 8
rein 8

Well at least your eyes were closed :p

3 15
SpottedZebra42 14

You do realize they weren't canoodling on his bedroom floor, right? They have their own room.... ....at least I hope so.

30 0
ShyAnn29 14

33, that's a funny, yet disturbing mental image, OP laying in bed reading, while his parents are having sex on his bedroom floor. YUCK!

2 8
DerrickJames 33

Stomp on the floor. It works like a charm.

8 12
LuckySpork 3

Or be less of a douche about it and just go flush the toilet. Make it seem less bitchy, but they will know you're awake.

16 0
Gunnie 24

#64 Your comment made me almost piss in my pants xD Hahaha Luckily I went to the toilet just before reading it.

2 6
bReLiNg 18

#64 I've done that. In a different situation. Lets just say it was 2 am, and my ma being single looked some stuff up while forgetting to plug in some head phones. Lovely sounds to wake up to.

4 1
igive 29

That's when you "sleep walk" out of the house.

54 4
dogpfcorn 11

Wtf is with that demonic scary as hell profile pic man?! O.o

4 6
igive 29

I'm a girl. Secondly, I like it. It's why I have it.

3 2