By Anonymous - 20/01/2013 02:55 - Canada

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 754
You deserved it 9 662

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well at least he had the courtesy to check if you were up or not. Next time just have that 30 second conversation with your father and you can avoid this again.

Why didn't I think of that? I'll just completely change the thickness of my walls with that easy do-it-yourself kit they sell online...

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Soundproof your room.

Whelp, nothing left to do other than tickle the pickle. Flick the bean. Whatever it is you anonymous people do

Most people don't think about their parents 95% of the time, let alone think about them doing the deed, and yet let alone preparing for the worst. Plus it costs quite a lot of money, would be embarrassing for both parties and rather impractical. Some things work in theory, but not in practice for this one. Headphones are better.

Why didn't I think of that? I'll just completely change the thickness of my walls with that easy do-it-yourself kit they sell online...

22 - Psst. Egg cartons and acoustic foam. Worked like a charm for my drum set when I was in high school.

You could round up a plethora of mattresses and line every inch of your room. The added bonus to this is you can sleep anywhere you want.

21, regardless of parents, soundproofing is a GOOD thing. In cities, especially.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, your parent f*cked, but its YOU who go screwed!"

Well sounds like your dad got right to it!

Just open the book up and get lost in it..

50 shades of grey?

No, OP said they were reading a book. 50 Shades is unworthy of being called "a book."

Can we put twilight in that category as well?

Isn't 50 shades of grey just a fanfic of twilight with the names changed?

31, I think the author started out writing twilight fanfic.

It would be so nice to stop hearing about how those books suck. Yes I called them books and they are for ENTERTAINMENT, they werent writting them to win the Nobel prize or the Pulitzer!

57, I know what you mean but it's pretty infuriating seeing those sorry excuses for books on the shelves when there are tonnes of writers trying and failing to get published. Twishite and 50 Shades belong on a free website, not an actual bookshelf.

People apparently disagreed with you though because both of those started on a free website and the people wanted more.

I might start walking around talking about my favorite porn sites. Since that is basically just the visual version of 50 Shades of Gray.

Have any of you noticed that on page 69 of the book "Fifty Shades Darker" two characters are having sex?

wow, you just killed off a quarter of my braincells with that stupid comment...

that's every page. and it would be funnier if they were 69ing

well at least he had the courtesy to check if you were up or not. Next time just have that 30 second conversation with your father and you can avoid this again.

Next time he checks on you just pop out of bed and yell, "I'm awake!!! For God's sake please know that I am awake!!!"

Not as scarring as the thought that all that has happened many more times while you were asleep. Who knows what freaky things they do when you're not listening.

Those "family friends" that come over ;).

What about the thought that they may have done it on your bed while your out of the house?

Well since you already know what they're doing you might as well go along with it. Read 50 Shades of Grey. The story will really come to life with the added background noises.

Just.... Just no. No. I'm sorry, nobody's gonna do that.

Plauge? Retna? And a naked mom? Whose naked mom?

Well at least your eyes were closed :p

You do realize they weren't canoodling on his bedroom floor, right? They have their own room.... ....at least I hope so.

33, that's a funny, yet disturbing mental image, OP laying in bed reading, while his parents are having sex on his bedroom floor. YUCK!

Stomp on the floor. It works like a charm.

Or be less of a douche about it and just go flush the toilet. Make it seem less bitchy, but they will know you're awake.

#64 Your comment made me almost piss in my pants xD Hahaha Luckily I went to the toilet just before reading it.

#64 I've done that. In a different situation. Lets just say it was 2 am, and my ma being single looked some stuff up while forgetting to plug in some head phones. Lovely sounds to wake up to.

That's when you "sleep walk" out of the house.

Wtf is with that demonic scary as hell profile pic man?! O.o

I'm a girl. Secondly, I like it. It's why I have it.