Miscellaneous: Today, I was in a tense tiebreak round to win the local pub quiz....

By pubquizgenius - 27/01/2010 08:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a tense tiebreak round to win the local pub quiz. As the quizmaster read out more clues, I got the answer, got up and rushed to be the first team to the bar. I tripped, faceplanted. The whole bar laughed, and then I realized that it wasn't a "fastest to the bar" round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 871

You deserved it 25 396

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Same thing different taste

Damaged ego

By Anonymous - 30/07/2024 19:30 - India - Ernakulam

Today, I was selected for a big quiz and was teamed with a girl who I have a huge crush on. When we reached the venue, I tried to hop onto the stairs and I faceplanted onto the stairs and nearby event organisers had to come pick me up. After that, I couldn't look her in the eye, nor answer the quiz questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 501

All over the place

By nemi - 31/08/2010 22:33 - Norway

Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 685

You deserved it 8 850

By Isitreallythatbad, - 22/12/2013 05:37 - United States

Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 553

You deserved it 3 655

I got heels, they’re made of plywood

By Morrissey - 06/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's birthday party in a packed karaoke bar/restaurant and I drunkenly agreed to sing. I picked a song I thought I knew by heart, only to realize halfway through that the lyrics on the screen were not at all what I thought they were. My brain went for a smoke break or something, and I turned into a rambling mess. The crowd actually booed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 396

Rough evening for introverts

By Chris - 24/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, at a dinner party, I got locked in the host’s toilet because the doorknob broke. I had to text the host to rescue me. She opened the door… with 5 other guests standing behind her. My social battery was wiped out by the whole ordeal, so I immediately wanted to go home and hide, but instead I got drunk and passed out on her couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 442

By Clumsy - 25/04/2009 09:09 - United States

Today, I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tires, and walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, and bust my head on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 563

You deserved it 5 487

Party hard

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing beer pong at a party and managed to get the ball in a cup. I jumped a little bit in excitement and somehow managed to fracture my foot while doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 564

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 000

You deserved it 3 729

What happened here?

By Alex - 31/08/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was alone at the office and having some fun spinning around in my chair. In my enthusiasm, I spun too fast, lost my balance, and crashed into the shelf behind me. The shelf didn't survive the impact, and I had 30 minutes to come up with a good excuse before everyone else came back from lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 546

By eun - 09/04/2009 01:42 - Canada

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 266

You deserved it 12 444

pubquizgenius 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 19:09

We won. The prize was a £30 bar tab, and a hurt knee. The answer was "Mo Mowlam".

Expertfail 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 16:17

Smooth. Did you win though?

Comments

tyrob911 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 16:13

wow. how bad does it get when you act stupid at a quiz

pipp360 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 3:44

were u that drunk?

Expertfail 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 16:17

Smooth. Did you win though?

betseyville 6

Wednesday 27 January 2010 16:23

Wayne the Brain wins again!

subcultured 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 11:29

great reference. was thinking the same thing.

FernandoTorres_fml 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 16:31

Judging from your idiocy, I doubt you had the right answer anyway.

arsenalfcboy 6

Wednesday 27 January 2010 19:28

Completely unrelated, but Liverpool are shit

RaKum12 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 5:33

I agree Liverpool is shit. BARCALONA is the best

CallMeHush 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 16:43

At least you didn't have your darts in your hand when you did it, you could lose an eye that way.

mushoo_fml 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 18:01

Did you still win??

txgirl09 5

Wednesday 27 January 2010 19:06

Of all the dumb things someone can say/do when drinking that's not so bad.

pubquizgenius 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 19:09

We won. The prize was a £30 bar tab, and a hurt knee. The answer was "Mo Mowlam".

LtChicken 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 19:43

was it worth it?

bk_chick13 0

Wednesday 27 January 2010 23:28

why were you so hype over a pub quiz???

conversationist 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 1:11

he probably got a night with the town stripper if he won.

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The Top

Today, I called the police regarding people speeding down my street, because I was worried for my young kids. On the way home from my daughter's ballet class, I got pulled over two blocks away from my house and got a $150 speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 804

You deserved it 118 681

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 580

You deserved it 38 172

The Top

Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 581

You deserved it 4 897

Today, working as a massage therapist at a spa, I had a male client proposition me for “special services.” I declined and ended the session. He got angry and told the front desk that I offered him favors. Now I’m suspended while management investigates, when really it’s just his word against mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 70

Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 389

You deserved it 3 138

Today, in a fit of rage, my mom confessed to me that I was adopted, and if she had the chance to turn back time, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. All because I ate the last ice cream sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 177

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 303

You deserved it 6 424

Today, I was fired from my babysitting job because the baby’s first word was my name. Well, I’m sorry, but if you ask me to look after your child 14 hours a day, 6 days a week, and by the time you pick them up they’re already asleep, of course they’re going to know my name better than yours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 184

You deserved it 190