Kids: Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter....

By Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 747

You deserved it 14 091

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Same thing different taste

By SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 297

You deserved it 4 356

Paper-thin walls

By Lauren Davies - 17/09/2019 06:00

Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 301

Bathroom menace

By Shelly - 07/06/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 238

You deserved it 3 432

Not now!

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 386

You deserved it 3 847

Check this out!

By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 805

You deserved it 2 550

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 572

You deserved it 4 370

By Fido - 06/06/2016 11:58 - United States

Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 480

You deserved it 1 540

Public announcement

By Pissed - 05/10/2011 15:29 - Australia

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 735

You deserved it 8 407

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 927

You deserved it 8 876

By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 067

You deserved it 6 681

cartez2gs 3

Sunday 22 August 2010 16:05

ahahahhahaa. pwned by your child. shave your furry beaver. lol

collegegirl87 0

Sunday 22 August 2010 17:07

omg just because her child says it was a beard does not mean she has a jungle. children don't have any hair so of course they are going to be surprised. FYL and you don't need to shave 

Comments

TheVariableX 0

Sunday 22 August 2010 21:01

YDI for bring your four year old into the stall with you. PERV!!! She can stand outside the stall! It's called parenting!!!

angiiebaby 0

Sunday 22 August 2010 21:26

she was actually being a good parent..someone could kidnap her kid while she was going to the bathroom! i'd do the same with my kid if we were shopping alone and i had to go..i'd just make him or her face the door..haha

TheVariableX 0

Sunday 22 August 2010 21:58

People are so terrified of " kidnappers" but what are they going to do grab the kid and run out the front door with the kid screaming? not gonna happen.

PhillyFox 0

Sunday 22 August 2010 22:41

How is that perverted?! She's her mother! It's not like she's molesting her own child in the bathroom stall for Christ's sake! You're the one that's perverted for even thinking like that.

hotdyegrl 0

Sunday 22 August 2010 21:11

I was in the restroom and a girl told her mom

hotdyegrl 0

Sunday 22 August 2010 21:13

she could have been trimmed... that may also look like a beard to a 4 year old.

BubbaCatLove 0

Sunday 22 August 2010 21:15

Children FMLs are NOT real FMLs. These are things children do. Not anything out of the ordinary. Good Lord, please just stop posting cute stuff your kid does to embarrass you as an FML. Your life isn't f---ed if you have kids that do embarrassing things. YDI for having kids in the first place if that's how you feel, OP.