Kids: Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter....

By Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 749

You deserved it 14 092

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Same thing different taste

By SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 299

You deserved it 4 356

Paper-thin walls

By Lauren Davies - 17/09/2019 06:00

Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 580

You deserved it 301

Bathroom menace

By Shelly - 07/06/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 238

You deserved it 3 432

Not now!

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

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You deserved it 3 847

Check this out!

By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 806

You deserved it 2 550

Amplified

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 576

You deserved it 4 370

By Fido - 06/06/2016 11:58 - United States

Today, my 3-year-old girl accidentally caught sight of me stepping out of the shower. Now she thinks "daddy has a tail" and she just has to let everyone know about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 481

You deserved it 1 541

Public announcement

By Pissed - 05/10/2011 15:29 - Australia

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 737

You deserved it 8 409

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 929

You deserved it 8 877

By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 070

You deserved it 6 681

cartez2gs 3

Sunday 22 August 2010 16:05

ahahahhahaa. pwned by your child. shave your furry beaver. lol

collegegirl87 0

Sunday 22 August 2010 17:07

omg just because her child says it was a beard does not mean she has a jungle. children don't have any hair so of course they are going to be surprised. FYL and you don't need to shave 

Comments

iRichiq 3

Tuesday 24 August 2010 23:59

tell ur child early and u won't have those problems...

princess711 0

Wednesday 25 August 2010 8:14

that Is like the funniest thing I've ever heard :D your child is a genius!!

scooter69 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 7:25

that's so disgusting!! shave plz haha ydi

Nightstrike07 1

Thursday 26 August 2010 11:00

lol pwned, seriously how the hell do you walk around with a small rodent in your pants? shave that shit, you disgust me.

Basketbllchica14 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 15:04

haha I think I asked my Mom that when I was little

AshDramatiicsxz 2

Saturday 28 August 2010 23:22

LMAOO , u got owned by your child . Can't lie , i would have laughed at you sooo HARDDD !!! This is one of the most funniest FML on here . 241 and 1 - lmaaao , its true though .

messifan128 0

Sunday 29 August 2010 16:30

you deserve it for having a carpet down there learn to shave. no1 likes bush

ragtime88 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 16:40

LOL jk I meant 142!!!! So funny :)

ncma3 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 13:30

Haha...I only must say.... Kids do say the darndest things...

MitchellK 3

Sunday 12 September 2010 16:31

why is she in the stall watching. O.O

xNephilim 18

Saturday 18 December 2010 21:59

Because she's 4. Kids generally don't use a public restroom alone at that age. Use your brain, it's there for a reason. Anyway... To all the people saying "shave"... Shut the hell up. Do half of you even know how freaking annoying it is to shave at least three parts of your body every two days? I don't have a child yet, but I can imagine it's pretty tiring to have to take care of it every day. I wouldn't feel like shaving, either.