Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, I made plans with an old friend that I haven't seen in years. We agreed to meet at a diner and I told him I'd be standing outside. I watched him pull up, look right at me, then do something with his phone. Seconds later, I got a text saying, "Sorry, but I'm busy today and can't make it." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML
Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML
Today, I had been trying to text my girlfriend all day, but no reply. After a while, I became worried so I called. She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, my best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone. She's been texting me all day." FML
Today, while holding the door open for a stranger, I thought I was being polite. She walked through, smiled at me, and said, "Thanks, but you didn’t have to follow me into the bathroom." I hadn’t noticed the door led to the restroom. FML
Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I was outside at a café when I looked at my phone. As I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
Today, I was in a rush to meet some friends for brunch, and I arrived first. The restaurant door was locked, so I knocked. A waiter opened the door and stared at me with confusion before saying, “This isn’t the entrance, ma’am.” It wasn’t until I walked around the corner and saw the correct door that I realized I had been standing at the employee entrance the entire time. FML
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Top comments
limitedition 25
At least she won't be rudely texting while you are dining.
oj101 33
MSG is one of several forms of glutamic acid found in foods. Because glutamic acid is pervasive in nature, being an amino acid. Seeing as the US doesn't ban/regulate them like Europe does, restaurants put up a no MSG sign. Basically, it's an additive.
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Comments (168)
AlexJones44 9
Wow your friend is sadly stupid
HKCgrimmjow 15
Could be happily stupid, you never know.
Connect 10
I had no idea what the sign meant either to be honest.
Connect 10
Oh please do give me more thumbs down. I'm from Denmark and I've never seen such a sign.
chriswright1888 10
I would have just shut the door and left her too text. Probably texting her doctor for a test for signs of a concussion, anyway. FYL.
GothickNihilist 15
Sounds like your friend is a few puppies short of a pet shop.
afruittruck 5
this is the most adorable version of that sentiment I've ever seen.
Calingaladha 21
A few sandwiches short of a picnic...a few furries short of a convention...there are many clever ways around it :)
pbonham 22
Well, that's embarrassing...
grtfuldeadlovr 27
Oh this makes me sad for the human race.
theawkwardlife 21
than go ahead and join a different species if you think you're too good for this one. people make mistakes.
GreenDancingBear 7
I completely agree. the dead is amazing ;)
Myo_fml 20
Then** Right then, off to go be a kangaroo.
theawkwardlife 21
good luck :)
buddy51 23
She seems a little on the dim-sum side of things....better not let her use the chopsticks, op, she might put her eye out!!
sadandbroke20 18
OP you need to take her phone and give it back after lunch
perdix 29
Oh, I thought it meant the place was not Madison Square Garden. Ever since Jeremy Lin came along, stupid people think all Asians are pro basketball players.
kumonsucks 7
At she respected what she though were the rules